Preparedness in Transition

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By Joni Johnson

I’ve been on campus since 2019.  During that time, we have had a fire evacuation and a worldwide pandemic.  Who woulda thought?  All that’s left is the…  I will leave it to your imagination.  I take the Resident Preparedness Group (RPG) for granted, but before 2019 there was no resident organization concerned with preparation for emergencies and disasters, and responses when they happened.

   Bob Buddemeier

Bob Buddemeier has been involved with RPG from the beginning, when I asked him how it got started.  He said that there had always been some interest in preparedness – “Resident Jim Macmillan had been working on it for some time, and Scott Tucker (Jens Larsen’s predecessor) was interested, but when he left the efforts declined.”  Bob said that the real start came about when the California wildfires drew attention, and in public meetings both Sarah Lynch (previous Executive Director) and Jim Van Horn (Previous Facilities Services Director) were heard to say that in an emergency like the Cascadia Subduction Zone earthquake, cottage residents would be on their own.  WHAT????

“That really got people’s attention,” Bob said, “and a group of us got together to see what residents could do to safeguard themselves.”

Fortunately, our current administration is much more in tune with the needs of everyone here at the Manor including those in the cottages.  The fire/evacuation was a major wake-up call, and  the RPG has grown substantially from a new organization concerned with emergency supplies to a network of neighborhood and floor coordinators with walkie-talkies and a designated role in RVM emergency responses

As usual, there is always change afoot and needs that must be addressed.  Bob Buddemeier has been involved with the RPG since its inception and has served as its head for much of that time.  However, he recently decided to turn over the reins.  When I asked what led to that decision, he explained that he feels that he is no longer able to provide what the organization needs to continue to function and develop.

“I’ve fallen behind, and I’m not catching up.  The bad news part is that it has been a rough year for me, and I still have problems to deal with.  The good news part is that RPG’s growth and success has made it more than one person or a few people can hope to manage effectively.  And, it is much too important not to have the support that it needs.”

“Fortunately,” he said, “we will not lack for ongoing leadership.  Bob

   Bob Berger

Berger, who has been serving as vice-chair, will take over the chairmanship, Dan Curtis will continue as Communications Lead, and I’ll remain on the Leadership Team working on information development and dissemination”

Bob feels that he will be able to help the revised leadership team and other interested individuals get their feet wet and move the organization to where it needs to be.  He thinks that RPG is at an important transition point, and that new eyes and energy will find a way to make it more effective and more satisfying to everyone.

“RPG needs to develop a more distributed leadership and ways to piece that together into a unified whole,” Bob said.  Many people have contributed in the past and others are still heavily involved in the operation.  However, it needs more people, greater involvement, and a process of identifying the activities that need to be supported and the people who are willing to participate so that the organization can continue to build its capacity to serve the residents.  A planning group has been formed to help provide that.

I asked Bob about his future plans.  “I’m still committed to the project,” he said, “and I want to continue contributing. I’m really happy with this rearrangement of responsibilities; I started out with a focus on the information side – in fact that was part of the reason for starting The Complement.  That hasn’t yet fulfilled the goal of having an easy-to-use informative website on preparedness, and I want to get back to working on that.”

Bob sees the function of the Preparedness Group as two-fold. First and foremost, it is the only real way residents have to support themselves in an emergency.  “RVM is well-intentioned and reasonably well prepared, but it is not an emergency response organization.  In a major crisis it will not be able to do or provide all that residents want or need,” he said.

And secondly, but of equal importance, RPG is a major way to make our community stronger- by increasing communication and the potential for mutual assistance.  In order for this to help in an emergency, we need to get to know each other better, neighborhood by neighborhood.   This has always been true but even more so with the recent problems we have had in staffing and resident isolation because of the pandemic.  When Carolyn Bennett, et al, started the Neighbors Together program last year, one could see how much the RVM community needed ways to meet and get to know each other.  In fact, when interviewed during one of these events, most residents commented on how wonderful it was to see people in their neighborhoods again.

The Emergency Preparedness Group has been a major social force to that end.  Cheerie Howse gathered neighborhoods together for informational meetings that got neighbors talking and which became the driving force that eventually helped address getting the cottage garage doors fixed for easier handling during a power outage.

Neighborhood Coordinators have been responsible for gathering information on the needs of everyone of the street.  This has meant in-person greetings, telephone calls and emails to make sure that neighbors and coordinators knew each other’s contact information and their needs in case of an emergency.  Once the pandemic is on the decline, the hope is to get people together for other purposes- emergency-preparedness as a result of fun and socializing.

So this article is not only informational.  It is an appeal to everyone to understand that we are all unique and important parts of our community. There is a need for all of our input and involvement in emergency preparedness. RPG needs participants.  Are you interested in playing a part?

For more information, contact Bob Berger at x6579, mbberger03@gmail.com, or
Bob Buddemeier at x6820 or buddrw2@gmail.com,

 

Communication and The Complement

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The Residents Council Technology and Communications Department has asked residents to fill out an Information Survey on uses of various communication media.  The Complement is not included, presumably since it is not a Resident-Council sanctioned activity.  However, we think we do play a role in campus communication, and we would like to know more about what you think its role is and how significant it is.  The survey team has no obligation to report Complement results, so we would like you to share your opinion of us.

Suggestion:  If you are willing to contribute comments on The Complement, send an e-mail or note to Butch Finley, bf6695@gmail.com with a copy to openinforvm@gmail.com or to one of our editors.

Alternative suggestion:  If you wish to remain anonymous, add The Complement to the Survey form by hand on either or both sides — but please communicate your input to us in some fashion.

Thanks for your support and attention,

The Complement Editorial Team:

Bob Buddemeier
Tom Conger
Diane Friedlander
Joni Johnson
Connie Kent
Reina Lopez

 

RPG Transition

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To go to the portal for the prototype RPG Manual, click here.

To view the video recording of the 31 Jan Planning Group meeting, click here

To view the video of the 1 Mar Planning Group meeting, click here

To view the video of the 14 Mar Area/Bldg Coordinator meeting, click here

April event description and draft flyers — click here

Resident handout drafts

  1.  Introduction to Emergency Preparedness — click here
  2. Emergency notification and RPG info — in preparation

A Profile of Author Daniel Mason

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by Anne Newins

 

Anne Newins

One of the pleasures of volunteering in the RVM library is the opportunity to discover new authors.  About six months ago, I encountered Daniel Mason and quickly became entranced by his writing.  The New York Times Magazine states that Mason “has quietly emerged as one of the finest prose stylists in American fiction.”

Mason’s background is almost as interesting as his writing.  After graduating from Harvard, he spent a year studying malaria around Thailand and Myanmar.   This experience informed his first novel, The Piano Tuner, which was published by the time he was 26 years old and then turned into an opera.   He attended medical school at the University of California San Francisco, eventually becoming a psychiatrist.  He now is on the faculty of Stanford University, both teaching and practicing medicine.

Not an especially prolific writer, Mason’s complex fiction cannot be easily defined.  Most of his writing to date has accurate historical components.  His descriptions of the natural world are both precise and poetic.  He incorporates vivid and occasionally appalling, descriptions of early medical practices.  Asked how being a psychiatrist relates to his writing, Mason stated in an interview with ZYZZYVA, that “If there is a connection, I think it is this sense that human beings are mysteries.  Since I was young, human beings have always been puzzling to me.  If anything, this interest drove me to both fields.”

Below are synopses of three of his books:

The Piano Tuner (2002) is the journey of a middle-aged piano tuner summoned from England to tune an English army surgeon’s Erard grand piano in the jungles of Burma.  Taking place in 1886, the British Empire is attempting to quell native insurgencies and repel French incursions in the Mekong Delta.  Although not perfect, this was a powerful first novel.  Fellow author Andrea Barrett praised “his ability to embrace history, politics, nature and medicine within a fully imagined 19th-century fictional world.”

The Winter Soldier tells of a Viennese medical student, Lucius.  “Resentful of hierarchy, impatient for his training to come to an end,” Lucius joins the army when World War I begins.  To his surprise, he is sent to a field hospital in the Carpathian Mountains, where he is the only physician, depending on a mysterious nursing sister to help when the multitudes of injured soldiers arrive.  Having never held a scalpel, it is left to Sister Margarete to teach him field surgery.  Lucius’s story is contained within the tides of war, as well a tale of love and atonement.  As in The Piano Tuner, the historical detail will be appreciated by those unfamiliar with these particular events in history.

A Registry of My Passage on the Earth (2020) is the title of one of nine of highly varied short stories.  Each of the tales has some seed of historical fact, but they go grow into wildly different creations.    The characters include naturalist Alfred Russell Wallace, pugilists, a women balloonist, telegraph operators, an amnesic, and more.  All are chronicles of exploration, internal and external.  My favorite was The Miraculous Discovery of Psammtetichus I, a darkly humorous yarn of an Egyptian pharaoh’s efforts to develop scientific methods. The collection was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and won several other prizes.

The Winter Solder and A Registry of My Passage on the Earth now are available at the Manor library.  The Piano Tuner will be added to the collection in late February. All of Mason’s books are held at the county library in various formats.

February Library Display

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by Anne Newins

Anne Newins

Since Valentine’s Day is approaching, it only seems appropriate for the library to celebrate books about love during February.  But, as one library volunteer said, “Almost all books are about love.”  This certainly may be true if one assumes that the author has a passion for their subject.

How then to narrow the theme so that the books can fit on a single round table?  One solution was to include books about three aspects of love:  1) romantic love, 2) love of family, and 3) love of critters.  Below are a few sample titles.

Romance

     The Paris Wife, by Paula McClain
      Peony in Love, by Lisa See
       Life Mask, by Emma Donoghue

Love of Family

      Homegoing, by Y’a’a Gyasi
      Spool of Blue Thread, by Anne Tyler
 
      The Mountains Sing, by Nguyen Phan Que Mai

Personal Thing

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Note — Liz Argall is a feelance cartoonist (https://lizargall.com/about/); I contribute to her website as a “patron” and am thereby entitled to download and use her cartoons — Bob Buddemeier

RPG Manual Information

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Purpose

This is a temporary portal to the INFORMATION section of the RPG Operations and Information Manual development site

This section provides access to working drafts of the information RVM residents will nbeed to prepare for and respond to emergencies and disasters.

While the website pages are being designed and installed, this URL will serve as a temporary access portal.  Links to subsections and primary information documents are given below the box.  Links to the primary URL and to the other sections of the manual are given at the bottom of the box.

In the early stages of the project changes will be frequent, so users should recheck the source frequently.

Comments can be submitted by using the “Reply” function at the end of the article, or by emailing rpgrvm@gmail.com.

RPG Manual

 ORGANIZATION    COMMUNICATION   INFORMATION   COORDINATOR NETWORKS

————————————————————————————————————————————————–

 

Needs and Decisions            Supplies and Activities         RVM Emergency Preparedness Postings

RVM Campus Evacuation Guidelines for Fire

Coordinators’ Corner

 

Preparation Basics: Why Prepare and What to Do

 

Preparation Information – How to Do It

Resources and Information

Tips, Tricks, Hacks, Hints

Introduction to Emergency Preparedness 

Getting Started – Preparation Basics – Advanced Layout Builder

Organizing Emergency Preparedness – Advanced Layout Builder

Personal Medications – Advanced Layout Builder

Water Basics – Advanced Layout Builder

Basic Sanitation – Advanced Layout Builder

Light & Electricity – Advanced Layout Builder

How to Train a Cat

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by Eleanor Lippman

He adopted us, my husband and me.

We found him loitering around our house in southern California so we started leaving a bowl of fresh water and some nibbles by the back door. This encouraged him to visit us more often.

He seemed rather feral, had no tags and no apparent home.

Being city dwellers, we knew nothing about cats or dogs as no one in our neighborhood growing up in the late 1950s, owned pets. Large families and small crowded houses did not make a good combination for furry companions.

Gradually, he allowed himself to be petted – carefully. Over time, he became a regular visitor in the morning as we prepared breakfast and dawdled over coffee. We’d hear him before we saw him, a mournful meowing, him crying out to us that he arrived and was hungry, probably lured by the aroma of bacon and eggs frying on the stove.

One winter, we awoke to the sound of pounding rain on the roof. Chilly, we stumbled out of bed and turned up the furnace to make the house comfortable. Soon the coffee was perking and the bacon was sizzling, but no sign of Cat. We ate breakfast in silence and wondered what feral cats did to avoid such bad weather. The rain began to let up and we peered out of the back door window hoping to catch sight of him. Nothing.

Then we became involved in the rituals of preparing to start our day. My husband in suit, shirt and tie, checked his briefcase and searched for an umbrella before pulling the car out of the garage to head for work. I watched as he stopped the car in the driveway and opened the car door. Then I could see what caught his attention. Under our neighbor’s car parked in their drive way, was Cat furiously licking away at his shoulder. I think we both realized at about the same time that Cat sought shelter from the downpour under the car, unaware that the car’s engine was slowly dripping oil onto his fur while he slept.

This called for immediate action on our part. We had to become the Cat Rescue Team. My husband called in sick and quickly changed into clothes more suitable to the task at hand.

We were able to coax Cat out from under the car. Luckily he trusted us and allowed himself to be covered with a bath towel and, for the first time, be brought into our house. It didn’t take long for us to realize that we couldn’t possibly remove the filthy oil from his fur by just rubbing with the towel. And we worried that by licking himself clean he would poison himself or become very sick. Only a bath using shampoo would clean him.

This was unknown territory for both of us. Neither of us knew that one didn’t bathe a cat. They took care of their own grooming using their very rough tongues. But, as they say, ignorance is bliss.

Cat didn’t put up any resistance as cold, hunger, and oil coating made him too weak to fight. We gently shampooed his fur and rinsed him in soothing warm water until we felt that he was clean. It was a shock to us to see him standing in the tub, soaking wet and several sizes smaller than usual. Did we shrink him in the wash?! In fact, he looked quite rat-like, just a bag of bones. We had no idea how much actual cat had been hiding under all of that fur!

We dried him as best we could, and before we could do anything more, he ran out of the bathroom with an amazing streak of energy.

Later we found him sitting on our desk in the living room calming licking himself clean(er). He stayed there all day and all night, licking, licking and watching us warily. Attracted by the sizzling of bacon the next morning, he ambled into the kitchen, once again his old self, his regular size, his coat clean, and hungry for a real meal.

That’s when he officially became “Toki” our cat, the keeper of the house, the boss of things. And the training began – turning a feral cat into a much loved pet who didn’t scratch furniture, who came and went at will, and became one of the family. He learned to sit on our laps while we read, to rub against our leg when he needed to be petted, and to meow for attention.

I began pestering my friend at work about cats as she had two beautiful Siamese cats living with her. My education as a pet owner was increasing by leaps and bounds – but with a grain of salt. She related her most recent cat experience with great reluctance. It seems as if one of her cats had taken to sleeping on one of the cushioned chairs in her living room and also began using the chair as a claw sharpening device. Soon the seat of the chair was covered with cat fur and the back of the chair was scratched to the point where the upholstery stuffing was falling out.

Something had to be done. Her veterinarian suggested she use a spray designed to deter cats, to discourage them from scratching or leaping up on furniture. So my friend had her chair hauled off to be repaired and recovered and to be returned once again to be part of the living room decor. Before she brought the chair back into her house, she sprayed it all over with the recommended cat avoiding spray, confident the problem had been solved. The upholsterer delivered her newly covered chair well sprayed, collected his money and left. The pair of cats entered the living room curious and circled the chair, round and round. One cat leaped up on the seat probably expecting the usual resting spot. Instead, with terror in his eyes, he looked at my friend, turned his back on her and viciously attacked the back of the chair, clawing and scratching until it was totally destroyed once again. Time lapsed between delivery and destruction: probably two minutes.

Our Toki-Cat would never do anything like that. He never was interested in using furniture as a scratching post. He never slept on our bed or on our upholstered chairs. He didn’t leap up on the table while we were eating. His domain was ground level except when it was lap time, cuddling time.

The kitchen sink in our house had a window overlooking the back yard where I often kept on the window sill small potted plants to keep me company as I washed dishes or prepared meals. After a while, I realized that the window sill needed a bit of freshening up so I decided to repaint it. So one night after dinner was over and the kitchen cleaned up, I carefully repainted the window sill. Toki-cat left for the evening using his newly installed cat door and husband and I went to bed.

As I was filling the coffee pot with water in the morning, I saw it. The equivalent of my friend’s chair. The evidence of cat superiority. Embedded in the newly painted window sill were paw prints from one end of the window sill to the other. Someone had been exploring during the night.

That’s when I realized that there were two Toki-cats in my house. The Toki-cat on best behavior when we were in the room, and the real Toki-cat, the explorer, the bird and mouse hunter, the tamed tiger who lived here when we were not around. The dual Toki-Cat, my husband, and I eventually just accepted things as they were. Who were we to interfere with Mother Nature?

Toki-cat uses up one of his nine lives

For a long time, I drove one of the early Volkswagen Beetles, the tiny car (compared to what Detroit was selling at the time), bright red, innovative in style and design, with its tiny engine in the trunk and the trunk storage space under the hood. It was usually parked in our driveway or in front of the house, leaving the garage to be the home of our other car.

One morning, my husband decided to drive the Volkswagen, and as he approached the car, he saw Toki-Cat asleep on the roof. Opening the door startled and woke up Toki, and due to the design of the car, he started sliding forward, down past the windshield and down past the hood of the car. Husband drove off and as he slowly maneuvered his way out of the neighborhood, pedestrians would point at him and laugh. Before driving onto the main thoroughfare, he pulled over and stopped the car thinking perhaps he had a flat tire and it would be wise to check. Much to his surprise, pinned between the front bumper of the car and the fancy grillwork, was Toki-cat. Apparently as he slid forward from his sleeping spot on top of the car, he got caught and was unable to free himself from his spot between the front bumper and the sloping front of the car. Caught, he endured the ride without uttering a sound. Freed from his confinement by my husband, Toki-cat was safely brought back home and husband wondered for the rest of his life what he would have done if he arrived at work in a car with a large black and white cat trapped in the front grillwork.

(Toki is performed by Gabby Rugg who lives with Carol and David)

 

Community, Organization, Team – and RPG

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An editorial news item by Bob Buddemeier 

Summary: I am stepping out of my role as Chair of RPG, and that position will be filled by Bob Berger.  In addition, we have formed a Planning Group to help develop future organization and activities. I will continue to contribute, primarily by drafting an Operations and Information Manual for RPG, with some effort devoted to developing a semiannual cycle of Preparedness activities, This article addresses my motivations for these actions. 

Joni Johnson has written an article on my intention to take less leadership responsibility in the Resident’s Preparedness Group (RPG).  I found that I couldn’t fit everything I wanted to say into Joni’s excellent questions, so here’s an attempt to explain a few things about my motivations and intentions.

I remain committed to the idea of an RPG, and will continue.  However, I am convinced that to serve the RVM community, an effective RPG organization needs to function as a team, and needs to be organized, managed and led in manners appropriate to that model. My views of what it means to be a community, organization, or team are given at the end of this article.

I have been unable to make adequate progress on either developing the organization or providing sufficient leadership.  A change is needed, and fortunately, Bob Berger has agreed to step into the chairmanship.  Bob, who has been serving as vice-chair, is well qualified for the job, and Dan Curtis will continue as Communication Lead.  I will move into a role focused on assembling and making available the information needed by residents, and by the RPG volunteers.

To further the transition, we have recruited a Planning Group – Dan Wagner, Teddie Hight, Jim Macmillan, David Drury, Ann Rizzolo, and Scott Wetenkamp.  Along with Ken Kelley (radio communications manager), the group is being challenged to help take the initial steps toward the next organizational structure.

There are proposals for two steps to be taken to help involve more people and build capabilities.  One is to support the idea of a late-April community-oriented Preparedness Program that would be the counterpart of a similar fall program as part of a semiannual cycle.  The intention is to provide topical foci for individual group members to develop more understanding and involvement, and to help create some useful interim products.

The second step is more ambitious, but one which I will undertake personally.  Over the next few months, I plan to develop a working draft of an RPG manual, including current organization and procedures and essential background information.  After 2.5 years of involvement I have access to a wealth of material, and a fair amount of experience to bring to bear.  I hope to recruit a few people to assist with review and editing, but will proceed in any case

The goal is to present in useful written form the relationships and activities reflected in the Figure 1 diagram of RPG interactions.

 

More information will be forthcoming shortly.  The following material amplifies on the basis for my approach.

Community – the following is an edited reprint of an article in an earlier issue of The
Complement.

Community is a term often used at and about RVM.  What do we mean?  The first entry that pops up from a google search of the internet gives us two choices:

  1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.
  2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

RVM residents clearly qualify under definition 1 – we’re all here, we’re all old, all or almost all of us are US citizens, mostly upper-middle-class, and on and on.  However, most of us would like to think of ourselves as a definition 2 community.  Are we?  And what might we do to increase that specific sense of “higher” community?

We have lots of subcommunities in the definition 2 sense; co-religionists, musicians, golfers, and more – but we don’t see them alloyed into a definable whole.  Of late, we have had more general common feelings and attitudes of frustration, isolation, and powerlessness. That, however, is not the bonding experience we seek; it’s more on a par with inmates of the same prison.

Is there a way to encourage collective actions to solve common problems without building on – and thereby probably intensifying – differences in priorities among residents or between residents and administration?  A focus on responses to external problems can build community both among residents and between staff and residents, and recent events have demonstrated that it works.  This is the basis for the Residents’ Preparedness Group – protection of all residents from the common threat of an externally imposed emergency or disaster.

Teams – a model of groups within a community, and in the idealistic extreme, for the community as a whole.

Using the analogy of sports, teams are groups of people with a common goal, a variety of assigned roles, a rulebook for the game, a playbook for the team, and both a captain (operational tactical leadership) and a coach (longer term preparation and strategy).  Team function requires commitment by individuals, and communication within the group. And maybe just a bit of discipline.

Organizations – we have lots, and all kinds.  How do we create or identify those that will achieve what we want and need?

Teams are organizations, but not all organizations are teams.  Many organizations are more like a chess board – a few power movers in the back row (sometimes only one) and a bunch of pawns out in front.  The chess game is NOT an adequate model for RPG, where in order to function, ALL participants must be able and willing to exercise some judgment and initiative.  Figure 2 provides some idea of the range of activities our volunteers exercise in order to support both residents and Administration in responding to emergencies.

 

Wildfires won’t wait, earthquakes will happen when they happen, and power outages are a fact of modern life.  In spite of the barriers caused by the pandemic – a long-term emergency itself – we need to move ahead with preparation.  Please support the RPG efforts.

 

Minding Your Manor Manners (sort of)

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  NIT WIT NEWZ

 

 

(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, often unreliable, on-line news source designed to keep Manor residents abreast of the inconsequential, unverified and trifling events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor)

 

                                    MINDING YOUR MANOR MANNERS (sort of)

Residents pose questions and concerns regarding Rogue Valley Manor living to Nit Wit Newz. When these issues are deemed of interest to our community, they are printed in this space.

This month, a reader wrote:

                Dear Nit Wit Newz,

Although our Bistro is temporarily closed, I have this on-going question: Is there anything that can be done about the Bistro’s dinnerware? The irregular shapes of the bowls and the plates with their wing-like edges make it difficult to balance utensils on the bowl or plate edges when not in use. The utensils either clank nosily to the table or worse, slip into my Meatball Marinara or my Roasted Beet Salad. That, of course, necessitates repeatedly wiping the utensil handles with my napkin before proceeding with my meal.  When finished, my hands are sticky, the napkin is a mess, and my clothes are ready for the cleaners.  Help!

I.M. Peeved

Dear Mr. Peeved,

Nit Wit Newz has looked into your issue with the Bistro dinnerware. Our findings:

–The dinnerware was replicated from the remnants of ancient pottery excavated from a post-Ice Age archeological dig in what is now Denmark.

–Contemporary Danish artisans have pieced together bowls and plates which revealed this distinctive wing-cornered design.

–Archeologists speculate that the pottery pre-dated the use of utensils and the unusual design enabled the early inhabitants to easily hold and raise the dish to their mouths.

–Inspired by this uniqueness, modern artisans have fashioned a line of dinnerware. That is the line used in the Bistro today. It’s called Danish Antiquity.

–It is unclear to archeologists whether or not finger bowls were to be found in the pantries of this ancient, post-Ice Age settlement. Nonetheless, we are pleased to report that finger bowls are included in the Bistro collection.

–Upon the re-opening of the restaurant, you—and other residents beset by this “sticky finger” grievance— may ask your wait-staff person to provide a Danish Antiquity finger bowl.

— To those who may find the use of finger bowls unsettlingly fastidious, another option is available:  Bistro management invites you and your tablemates to indulge your latent impulses. Use the dinnerware as it was originally intended. Set aside fork, spoon, knife and superficial inhibitions. Grasp your bowl or plate as it was designed to be held and boldly raise it to your lips—SKOL!

–With that, Mr. Peeved, we hope NWN’s research has provided you with a new-found appreciation of the Bistro’s dinnerware.

Your friends at Nit Wit Newz.

 —A. Looney