By Bob Buddemeier

 

Background  — Topic

Alone. Solitary. Isolated. Search for those terms in the context of health in old age, and you will find general disapproval.  Some of the advice is phrased judiciously –

“For older adults, social connection is particularly important to reduce risk factors such as social isolation and loneliness. At this stage of life, meaningful social activities can significantly improve positive mental health, life satisfaction and quality of life; they can also reduce depressive symptoms.”(1)

Other sources are more blunt about the necessity for social contact, to the point of portraying self-isolation as an antisocial act —

“Yale University professor Dr. Laurie R. Santos asserts that the ‘sheer amount of time we spend around other people predicts how happy we are.’   Mistakenly seeking self-isolation and convenience in our routines is hindering our ability to build social capital in our society.”(2)

My personal happiness is definitely not positively correlated with amount of social contact, and this essay is my effort to develop a more realistic view of the subject for older people, senior living residents, and RVM in particular.

Susan Ball recently circulated on RVMlist the abstract of a study entitled Seeking Solitude – Motivations for “Alone Time” among Senior Living Residents(3). It is concise and eminently readable, and you can read or download a pdf by clicking the linked title above.  What follows will be my impressions and interpretations of the data and related information, including quotes and figures from the report. When I intersperse personal experience or unverified opinions, I will use bold font.

The bottom line of the published study: “Positive motivations for solitude are unlikely to pose risks for older adults and are associated with well-being comparable to people who prefer greater levels of social interaction.” 

The study population of 397 individuals residing in senior living facilities was surveyed to assess eight different wellness parameters as well as the extent of positive or negative motivations for solitude.  The participants were classified into one of 4 categories (as seen in the pie chart).

Slightly fewer than half of the participants were classified as Social Seekers.  The remainder were classed into three categories – Solitude Seekers (a little over a third of the total) and two other smaller categories that scored lower on the wellness assessment, Ambivalent Loners and Social Avoiders.

The comparison of wellness assessments for the four groups is illustrated in the following table.  The empty cells indicate no significant differences; in the green cells the arrows show the between-group comparison, with an up-arrow meaning “greater than.”  Note that all of the characteristics are desirable except for loneliness; in that case, unlike the others, the down arrow is a positive result.

The Solitude Seekers apparently experience greater well-being than not only the 19% of the population whom I’ll call “unhappy loners,” but also the Social Seekers – Solitude Seekers score higher in Personal Growth and Psychological Richness, with the other categories lacking significant differences.

The 35% value for the proportion of the study population who are Solitude Seekers matches well with the statement from the dust jacket of Susan Cain’s book QUIET – The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (4): “At least one third of the people we know are introverts.”

Although “introvert” and “extrovert” are labels that cover diverse groupings of many different conditions, I will treat Solitude-Seekers and Introverts as different labels for the same or strongly overlapping populations.  This is because the reaction to, or need for, solitude is one of the most consistently used characteristics for separating introverts and extroverts.  Extroverts prefer and seek action, social interactions, and stimulation.  These experiences are energizing for them, and extroverts tend to become bored and restless in solitude. Introverts may find activities and interactions pleasurable or productive, but ultimately they are enervating rather than energizing, and the introvert requires solitude or ‘down time’ to recharge his/her batteries.

Background — Author

I have considered myself an introvert ever since I was old enough to have an idea of what the word meant – focused on ideas and information and relatively uninterested in conventional subjects or activities

Retirement – and aging — brought a new set of considerations and challenges.  My wife and I both had medical problems that led us to want a retirement destination where there were good medical facilities, and from which we would not need to move again.  So, a CCRC – which was a different kind of environment from the cities, suburbs, and countryside in which we had previously lived — and from our workplaces.

The Retirement Community Environment:

The demographic data for the survey participants (see report) appear to be a good match for the RVM population – mostly white, well-educated and female.  It is reasonable to assume that those interviewed were in independent living.

Compared to the pre-retirement conditions of most middle and upper-middle class Americans, senior living facilities have higher population densities and smaller living quarters.  Availability of common space both within and outside the facility varies. Regardless of how much potential access to external attractions there may be, practical access for most people inevitably diminishes with advancing age.

Management styles and populations vary, but it is probably safe to assume the most facilities are relatively homogeneous in terms of ethnicity, socioeconomic level, and related characteristics.

Study Recommendations and RVM:

The report suggested actions to enhance the well-being of Solitude Seekers (copied below).  In this section I’ll provide my personal impressions of RVM in terms of the recommendations plus some additional observations.

First, two observations – (1) when I arrived, I didn’t list any interests in the directory because I didn’t want my participation solicited. As it turned out, that would probably not have been a problem.  (2) I am very grateful for the amount of common space available at RVM; indoor lounges and outdoor venues for walking or sitting.  These make it possible to be alone in pleasant settings without being constantly confined to one’s dwelling.  Similarly, it is possible to find reasonably convenient times when the pool or gyms are either largely or completely unoccupied. 

In terms of the survey recommendations above, I think RVM generally comes off well.  For items 1 and 2, I suspect that results will depend mostly on the people assigned as hosts or ambassadors.  If Marketing or Residential Services do not have mechanisms in place to guide newcomers to contacts that match their preferences, I think these would be worthwhile additions.

Item 3 is well fulfilled, and appreciated. Unless I am with close friends I prefer to eat alone, and rarely have any trouble doing so.

Items 4 and 5 are well addressed in terms of availability; promoting knowledge and use of the opportunities is challenging, and especially so with solitude seekers who have little interest in routine institutional communications.  Item 6 is similar – having a counselor on staff is an excellent service, but making connections with those in need (the minority I refer to as the “unhappy loners,” plus those undergoing temporary situational stress) is an ongoing challenge.

Item 7 is very well served by the available fitness and craft areas, as well as our excellent library, and by the common areas.

Provision of “solitude-positive” opportunities and facilities is generally good.  In terms of connecting with the relevant individuals, the study recommendations seem to be written for smaller institutions where one-to-one contact between management and residents is easier to set up and maintain.  At the scale of RVM, the important suggestion for staff and resident community leaders is to remain aware of and sensitive to the existence and needs of the substantial subcommunity of Solitude Seekers – wheels that may not get enough grease because they choose not to squeak loudly.

A Closing Editorial:

In addition to my assessment of RVM as a relatively introvert-friendly place, I want to applaud the open-door policy of the current RVM administration.  Committees and town-hall meetings can be useful, but they are not communication mechanisms that match the skills and preferences of introverts.  One-to-one (or very small group) is better than group interactions, and for some people, written contact is much preferable. 

These characteristics are often looked down upon by the more extroverted, I think in many cases because they simply don’t realize that these “different” behaviors are not flaws or pathological exceptions, but are basic characteristics of a third or more of the population.  A greater realization of systematic personal differences can – and in my opinion should – lead to greater inclusiveness and diversity in community characteristics and processes.

With that brief background, some comments on the resident community interactions at RVM:

RVMlist – while I acknowledge that standards are needed, I think that the frequent admonitions to not discuss problems, but to take them to a committee represents an extroverted view of what the community is (or could be) and how it functions – or could function.  Some people are not comfortable with other ways of communicating their concerns, and others do not want their views filtered and/or blended.  We need better ways to welcome their contributions and respond to their concerns.

The “volunteer culture”–  Introverts may be quite willing to make community contributions, if they can do it in the context of their own values and skill sets.  Taking on somebody else’s job description for achieving somebody else’s goal may be neither satisfying nor enjoyable, and organizations don’t necessarily have to function that way. 

Resident activities and governance —  In my opinion, the Residents Council structure and procedures for non-financial inclusion and support of groups and activities are unnecessarily cumbersome and restrictive.  I agree that accountability is needed where money is involved, but beyond that, I think that any resident activity initiative that is not inconsistent with RVM policies should be accepted and assisted to the extent possible.  Possible approaches to this include transforming the Volunteer Opportunities operation to Volunteer Support, and/or adding the position of Communications Secretary to the Board (in addition to the Recording Secretary) to facilitate and assist with resident communications at all levels.

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Reaction?  Interest?  Response?  Use the Reply feature below or send us a letter-to-editor at openinforvm@gmail.com

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¹World Health Organization: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-health-of-older-adults.

²https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/business/what-is-social-capital

³Seeking Solitude: Motivations for “Alone Time” among Senior Living Residents.  J. L. Smith, V. Thomas, and M. Azmitia.  Mather Institute (https://www.matherinstitute.com/), 2023. 12 pp

⁴Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. S. Cain, Crown Publishers, NY, 2012.  333 pp.

By joni Johnson

“My friend lost her husband and her house in one night.  How do you deal with that? Another friend helping to clear out dead wood, stepped into a hot spot and was taken to the hospital for multiple burn recovery. She was in Kula where another fire was burning at the same time.”

RVM resident, Jill Engledow told me this during a conversation we had in early September.  This article is about Lahaina and the devastation created by the surprise fires of August 8, 2023.  Jill has written four books about Hawaii.  Among them is one called The Story of Lahaina.  She knows Lahaina intimately.  She was a reporter for the Maui News largely covering Lahaina and the surrounding areas in the 80’s. Then she turned to writing historical reports and worked with the Lahaina Restoration Foundation to do museum displays. All of Jill’s books are in the RVM Library.

There is no way to keep up with all of the changes that have happened since the fire because stories are changing by the minute.  However, Jill’s intimate experience with Lahaina over so many years can give us a special insight into what was and what might be.  Two weeks have passed since the interview and one month will have passed by the time this article goes to print.  So I will fill in some information not known at the time that we spoke.

The entire island is grieving.  On September 1, all of the islands held vigils for all that was lost.  They were all held three times, morning, noon and sunset, and, depending on the location, they consisted of hula and other musical tributes as well as interfaith ceremonies.  But that was only one day.  Jill says there is an enormous pall all over the island.  People are hugging and sharing their loss. Therapists are offering their services.  And activities for children to help promote recovery are taking place.

From Jill’s perspective, because of new laws and regulations developed after Lahaina was built, the old town can never be rebuilt the way it was.  The town is largely a town with narrow streets and no sidewalks.  A lot of the Front Street buildings were built on the shore-line, even extending out into the ocean on stilts.  With sea-rise happening, there are new setback regulations.  Jill thinks that one alternative would be to build uphill where there is plenty of room.  On one side of the road uphill, there were a number of structures and other houses. Some of them escaped serious damage in the fire. Luckily, the Lahainaluna High School, which had originally been built in the early 1800’s as a seminary for Hawaiian men and finally a public high school, is still standing but closed.  Another RVM connection here is that Arnold Lum’s father was the farm manager and boarding supervisor at Lahainaluna from 1926 to 1944.

However, Hale Mahaolu Eono senior-living complex, burned down.  People were able to live there in a one bedroom palm-fringed apartment overlooking the Pacific.  Because the housing was subsidized, the cost could be only $150 per month. They held group barbecues and monthly birthday celebrations much like the Manor. They felt like they had found stability on an island where many elders — known in Hawaiian as “kupuna” — had been priced out after a lifetime of raising families and serving tourists. Now, the housing complex is rubble.  So some buildings will need to be rebuilt, while others remain standing just like they did in the Almeda Fire.  However, the other side of the street is largely open and available. There is a very strong feeling in Hawaii that the residents of Lahaina should decide how their town should be rebuilt, and Jill agrees with this. For the latest news on rebuilding check out this article which talks about the latest in setting up community meetings:

 https://mailchi.mp/civilbeat/maui-mayor-fire-survivors-may-have-to-wait-2-years-before-rebuilding-lahaina-homes?e=3d229f59ac

Another important issue is water.  Lahaina was built on wetlands with streams and ponds.  However, starting in the 1800’s, the pineapple plantations began changing the water flow, and it has never returned to its former glory.  Much of the water in Lahaina comes from wells. A water rights activist has said that those in the Lahaina area can safely draw 500 millions of gallons a day. This is what is currently being drawn. Restoring the surface water would replenish the aquifer.

How Lahaina will rebuild itself is still unknown.  Most people still can’t get to their houses because of the toxic waste and unsafe buildings.  From one article I read, they have managed to clean up 15% so far.

 A look at how other communities have dealt with similar calamities is instructive. In Hilo, after a tsunami,  the state took over the whole lower section and made it into a big memorial park.  Crescent City got their city back in about two years after the Tsunami of 1964, which started as a 9.2 earthquake in Alaska.  Twenty-nine city blocks were devastated.

After the Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989, Santa Cruz managed to rebuild  much of its downtown area in four years.  In 2011, 22 years after the earthquake, Nikki MacDonald wrote, “The first impulse after a disaster is to put everything back the way it was. You can’t do that. The first thing that has to happen is that people have to get that. Not just intellectually, but emotionally.” A school gym was set up with tables of eight for a three-day design symposium. Santa Cruz locals discussed, drew, and then presented their central city concept. One group wanted a little Venice, with canals instead of streets.

“That [the symposium] was a brilliant idea,” says Pacific Cookie Company owner Larry Pearson, who lost his Pacific Ave flagship store and doughmaking facility in the quake. “It allowed everybody an outlet for all these feelings they had. People were just pent up with very strong opinions, because people cared so much. People got to see their ideas actually represented, and to see people’s reactions to them.”

Currently, Summer Sylva, the senior advisor for Native Hawaiian Affairs in the U.S. Department of the Interior, has been assigned to FEMA’s Cultural Protocol Task Force to ensure that the federal response to the devastation is sensitive to the needs of the community.

Sylva, who is kanaka maoli, a Native Hawaiian with roots in Lahaina, said the destruction has highlighted the longstanding tensions between Hawaii residents and the federal government, especially when it comes to the land and how it’s treated, she told ABC News.

So now there are many interests and forces trying to determine the fate of Lahaina.  It all will take time to play out.  Meanwhile, shortly after Jill and I spoke, she left for Maui hoping to help in any way possible.  “It will always be home to me, no matter where I live.”