How Can We Talk About Important Issues When We Are So Divided?

by Joni Johnson

As the election grows closer, we are faced with a conundrum.  We all know that it is wise not to talk about politics or religion, and we have been really good about doing that.  Skip has kept us honest during the few times it was a problem on the list serve.  We know these topics can destroy families and friendships.  We all have friends from the other side whom we admire for a million reasons and have so many things in common with as long as those two topics do not come between us.

At the same time, religion and especially politics right now are of great importance, and it is often useful to talk to people with differing views in hopes of learning something new.  Rick Bonetti has really embraced this concept, and so I was fortunate enough to talk with him about how he has dealt with this issue.

Several years ago, he got involved with discussions through Living Room Conversations (LRC). Their website explains their mission.  Here are a few excerpts from the LRC website. “Living Room Conversations (LRC) connects people within communities and across differences through dialogue to build trust and understanding.”

They believe belonging starts with conversation,  and they are committed to designing the resources and opportunities that allow everyone to feel seen and heard while celebrating the differences that make us unique.

“Steeped in the tradition of gathering in parlors to talk (parlor or parlour comes from the French and means a “place for speaking”), Living Room Conversations brings people together to generate understanding and connection. The parlor of today is any place – physical or online – where we find ourselves connecting with others.” Their unique conversational model makes it easy for anyone to create a safe and welcoming environment where people can respectfully discuss important issues.

https://livingroomconversations.org

And it is so much easier to discuss certain issues in a safe place with people you don’t know but are interested in exploring topics that can tear good friends apart.

Here is a link to a Ted Talk with the founders of LRC:

https://www.ted.com/talks/joan_blades_and_john_gable_free_yourself_from_your_filter_bubbles/transcript

Rick first participated in Living Room Conversations on Zoom in Spring 2021 during the pandemic. The discussion between 6 people was facilitated by Irene Salter and followed a script. Irene has a PhD in neurology and a website called Inquiring Minds! She also advocates for Difficult Conversations:

 https://www.irenesalter.com/_files/ugd/f4ae5c_5d0898c20cbb4a86b80c7643a5eccf8e.pdf

When Rick participated in these online discussions with 5 strangers, he remembers the experience very positively.  First, people gave an overview of who they were and then went right into discussing the particular topic.  He felt that while no one changed anybody’s mind, there was a greater understanding of various viewpoints.  At the end, people wanted to meet in person to discuss the issue further.  But, of course, Covid stood in the way.   Rick felt that the most important thing for a successful outcome was conviviality and mutual respect.

Rick aligns himself with Don Quixote – going after windmills – like a fool or a seer!

Because of this, Rick also writes a blog he calls Rogue Valley Voice, which is focused on “bringing forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, socially just human presence on this planet.”

Community, conversation and communication are a big part of his blog posts. Unlike the current political rhetoric, he looks for common ground. Here’s a link to his blog:

 https://www.roguevalleyvoice.com/community

In one of his blog pieces he talked about the Oregon Humanities Conversation Project, which started in 2022 and is still going strong.

Their objective is to help Oregon residents learn to participate in and facilitate “reflective conversations” about vital issues and questions across differences, beliefs, and backgrounds, though online and in-person training.

Here is their website with new topics for 2024:  http://oregonhumanities.org

And if you feel that you would like to have a conversation with friends and family about controversial issues, here’s an article about how to do that and still remain friends.

https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/conversations

But when you get an itch to know more but doubt if it is wise talking about it with your friends across the table, think about getting involved with one or more of these platforms.  It’s better than Facebook!