Staying Sane and “Relatively Happy” during Lockdown

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How to avoid Feeling Isolated and Depressed

Interview with Linda Bellinson, Licensed Clinical Social Worker at RVM

 

by Joni Johnson

           Linda Bellinson

Linda Bellinson, our RVM Licensed Clinical Social Worker, has been working with various groups on campus to alleviate the feelings of isolation and depression that can often affect residents at the Manor because of aging and loss of a loved one. However, these feelings have intensified and affected even more residents since the beginning of the Covid-19 series of lock-downs and protection measures.  By the time this article is available for publication, it will be almost 10 months of serious isolation for many of our RVM residents.

While hope is on the horizon with vaccination shots and eventual freedom from all of these restrictions, we really don’t know how it will be implemented. So increasing our strategies for overcoming the loneliness brought on by the pandemic is still of great importance.

I asked Linda about her experience and suggestions in working with clients who have been feeling the pains of isolation.  She cites the plethora of articles that form a real scientific basis for the efficacy of caring for animals and plants and how they help lower heart rates, improve cognitive function and the ability to sleep. Caring for others lowers the rates of anxiety and depression and provide an improved outlook on life because it helps us focus on something other than ourselves.  Just the act of stroking a pet has benefits.  And, oddly and luckily enough, there is also quite an amazing benefit to having a plant to care for.  While not everyone has, wants or can keep an animal, almost everyone can care for plants. And there is evidence that plants not only improve the environment in a room by increasing the quality of air in a room over a twenty-four hour period, but that caring for plants also increases mood levels and lowers rates of anxiety and depression.  The key is caring for someone or something else.

From anonymous: Give a smallish, very hardy, potted plant, with very easy-to-follow care instructions [“put me near a sunny window and give me 1.5 oz of water every Sunday” – that way you could include a fancy shot glass as a gift reminder.  Or some other volume.  Or a marked very small calendar.]  You could explain that you love the little green fellow but you’re running out of window sills and then you have an excuse to call up to check on it and talk about your photosynthetic babies.

Linda cites computers and smart phones as having the potential to improve our connection with others through Zoom, Face-time, Skype and just the sheer act of telephoning others. People who have scheduled regular family conversations, grandparents calling children and grandchildren pay an enormous dividend in feeling connected to the outer world.  We so often wait for people to call us and if they don’t, we feel ignored or forgotten.  But why should we wait for others to call us.  Why not be proactive and call others.  If you have been part of a group that met before Covid but then stopped meeting even on Zoom, it gives you a wonderful source of people to call. It makes you an active participant and makes the receiver feel valued and considered.

The Wellness committee has a group that is sending cards to residents here at the Manor.  But why not do the same with your friends and neighbors. There is evidence that shows that getting cards from others, even complete strangers, helps people feel connected.  And those who write the cards feel good by doing something for others.  It isn’t simple.  It requires thought, time and energy.  But little acts of kindness go a long way!

Many people at RVM have lived through all sorts of difficult situations and through them have learned to be resilient and patient.  This pandemic is just one more SNAG along the way. And so our residents have been creative in navigating through the bleak times.  This is another moment when our creativity can bring us new experiences and new relationships.  The question is how can we challenge ourselves to be open to new things rather than shutting down and saying no.  Our residents who have had to dig deep in past times, have the capacity to find creative ways to help each other and themselves now.

Another important point is that this is also a time to reach out for help.  Seek it out from friends and family, your churches and synagogues, but also from the services that RVM provides like Linda Bellinson (x7157) and Father Joel (x7296).  The important thing is not to go it alone!  Reach out for support.  This is a community.  It is our community! Take advantage!

Articles with information on how pets and plants help you to deal with Isolation and Depression:

https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/national/companion-dogs-help-with-pandemic-anxiety

https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/alleviating-anxiety-stress-and-depression-pet

https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/well-being/pets-and-mental-health/


https://greatist.com/grow/plants-mental-health#They-remind-you-to-keep-moving

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/plants-self-care#The-extra,-life-enhancing-benefits-of-loving-a-plant

 

 

Getting to Know You! One way to avoid the feeling of Isolation!

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RVM New Letter Writing Project joins with

the “Senior Ninja Project” to Celebrate the Holidays

By Joni Johnson

 

What do you get when you mix the creativity and desire to be of service of 5-15 year olds with the creativity and that same desire to be of service of us older folk who have been around the block a time or two?  Especially during this difficult period of separation and seclusion. You get lots of love and virtual cuddles!

Jane and Steve Harris, with the support of the Wellness Advisory Committee and along with a core of writers (many of them from the same committee), created a card writing project here at the Manor soon after the Covid crisis began. The purpose was to alleviate people’s sense of isolation by letting our residents know that they were being thought about and supported.  As Jane said, cards can be a healing gift to people.  Cards can be held, displayed and re-read, a reminder of the warm and caring feelings of the sender.  It certainly helps people deal with the depression that can come with this long period of isolation.

Completely separately, Willow Wind Community School in Ashland set up a “Seniors Ninja Project” to have students provide support to seniors in the community as a way to promote outreach and service to others.

Initially, the RVM writing project had twenty-eight participants sending cards featuring photographs by Bob Carter to RVM community recipients.  By now, well over 100 cards have been sent for all sorts of reasons — Thanksgiving, holiday and “just because”.  And from these beginnings, new relationships have formed with distanced meetings, phone calls, walks and e-mail correspondence as well as plans for getting together after restrictions are lifted.

 

So how did the Ashland Senior Ninja Project get involved with the RVM writing project?  By serendipity and good will.  Our own Sarah Karnatz’s former OSU advisor now has a son who goes to  Willow Wind Community School,  and she offered to connect Sarah with The “Senior Ninja Project”.These students provided over 150 cards made by participants from all grade levels. Most of the cards went to the writing project and the rest went to residents in the Health Center, Care Suites and the Memory Support Center.  The principal of the school even brought the cards herself to Sarah on the Monday before Christmas and the rest is history. Look at these cards and let them bring a smile to your face.  Remember, there were 150 of them, each different, each made by hand.

Lillian Maksymowicz- Sankta Lucia Celebration in Sweden

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Lillian Maksymowicz

I remember it very well.  It is celebrated on December 13 the shortest and darkest day of the year in Sweden according to the old Julian calendar.  And when the Western world switched to the current Gregorian calendar, we still kept to December 13.  The folklore tells us that Sankta Lucia came from Sicily and was a patron for the blind and she travelled to the northern land to spread light and warmth to the dark, cold times there. The Swedes love to celebrate Lucia and she appears in all public and private workplaces, schools, hospitals, retirement homes, actually everywhere imaginable on that day.  She is dressed in a white gown with a red sash tied around her waist and on her head she wears a crown of live candles. Sometimes she appears with a train of maidens and star boys all dressed in white holding live candles in their hands while singing the Sankta Lucia song.  It was magical and so beautiful.

I remember as the eldest daughter getting up early in the dark morning with my other two sisters.  We would dress up in white gowns getting the candles lit and proceed down the hallway to my parents room waking them up to our singing the Lucia song, bringing them a tray with coffee, saffron buns and ginger cookies. Then we would go to school where there would be another celebration.   And finally, at night, we would go to the center of town where Sankta Lucia and her maidens and star boys would be riding in a big parade ending up at the town square where the Mayor would honor her with a speech and present her with a necklace.  Who then was the town’s Lucia?  Well, early in the fall the newspaper would announce that you could send in a photo of a pretty young girl, which would be posted, limiting the number of contestants to eight.  The girl with the most votes would win.  Although I never was the winner.  I remember that one year after I had moved from my home town to a University town up north where I was working as an Intern at the Medical Center, I was on duty on the 13th of December, and I was the Sankta Lucia on my ward.  I remember how thrilled my patients were that the Lucia had visited them.  So it is that now, living in America, every year at this time my thoughts  go to Sweden and the Sankta Lucia celebrations there.

 

 

Anita Sumariwalla- Protestant

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        Anita Sumariwalla

I remember, when I was very young (about four or five years old), on December 24th afternoons my sister and I had to wait in a bedroom while our mother prepared the Christmas tree in the living room. The afternoon seemed endless. Around five o’clock it was getting dark outside. About at that time our mother rang a bell indicating that we were allowed to come to the living room. There, the Christmas tree, adorned with real candles and shiny ‘Kugeln’ reflecting the candle lights, stood majestically in the middle of the room. That moment of seeing this silent magical splendor remains with me!

In the weeks before Christmas (Advent) we had to learn Christmas poems and songs by heart. Before we were allowed to open our gift, we (that is – for me) had to endure the boring reading of the Christmas story – frequently interrupted by having to recite a poem or sing Christmas songs… In later years, I knew the Christmas story by heart. I had to recite it with my classmates at various hospitals and ‘old people’s homes’! When I was in the second grade, I was asked (as before) to recite the Christmas story… I surprised the audience with my own – more lively and picturesque – version of the Christmas story. I remember the amazed eyes of people in the audience – I expected to get into trouble later by my teacher… Instead, from then on I was asked to repeat ‘my version’ for several years to come. — I still remember it!

 

Jere Scott- Protestant

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               Jere Scott

 A Christmas Pageant to Remember: I have had the joy of taking part in Christmas Pageants large and small during over forty plus years as a pastor.  All were  joyful celebrations of the birth of Jesus Christ the Lord.  There is one that stands out from them all.  Twenty years ago I was pastor of a mission church in Alaska. We had a small congregation of about 45 people including children.  We had practiced for several weeks for this pageant, about 20 men and women made up the choir.  There was a ”large” audience of about 30 members and guests attending.  As we began the Pageant, I read the opening scripture and sat down. The choir sang the opening song and were sitting down as I stood to read the second passage of scripture, and then, it happened!    In the choir there were two very large ladies seated together on the back row.  As the choir gracefully took their seats,  the pew collapsed on that end throwing everyone to the floor.  No one was injured, thankfully.  There was shock, concern, relief and then, laughter, for a couple of minutes.  Dignity restored and the laughter now quiet, we were able to complete the Pageant ”standing” with great joy and grace!  No one there will forget that event.  One of our guests said as he was leaving that he would be back the following Christmas if we would repeat the events.

 

Telling the Story of RVM

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WELCOME, HISTORIAN JORDAN MO!

Jordan is Part 4 of the 3-part article below, which was crafted in part with the goal of attracting a volunteer to the position of Resident Council Historian.  It is a testimony to the writing skill and persuasive power of the staff of The Complement that it worked without even being published!  When asked to introduce herself to the subjects of her future narratives, Jordan submitted the following:
“JORDAN MO is a native of and survivor of Minnesota’s worst weather (she credits her Norwegian heritage) before migrating to California to Whittier Union High school, UCLA, and a peripatetic career in advertising, retail, banking, the LA County Assessor’s Office, political consulting and, lastly, avocado ranching.  Volunteerism included the LA Opera Company, progressive politics (especially the women’s movement) and ACLU.  Jordan and Jan Hines were close friends at UCLA and re-connected in retirement in Santa Barbara.   They decided to move on to RVM after a presentation at Fess Parker’s and a free breakfast!  Look for Jordan most afternoons walking their white Scottie dog “Annie”.”

            Faye Isaak

RVM History part 1, by Connie Kent

Once upon a time there was a tall bare hill near a middle-size town in Southwestern Oregon. From the top of the hill, one could look out over nearby fields, orchards and communities of the Rogue Valley. In 1955, several ministers from area congregations got together and dreamed. They dreamed of a retirement community that would be the finest in the country, one that would attract people from all over the United States. They formed a nonprofit corporation, purchased the first fifteen acres atop the hill, and set about promoting their vision.

Four years later, they had arranged financing, hired an architect, sold over a hundred apartments to prospective residents, and were ready to break ground for the Rogue Valley Manor. Two and a half years later, in January, 1961, the first residents moved in.

Initially, there were problems, of course. Almost immediately there was a tax issue: should residents be required to pay property taxes? There were operational deficits requiring an increase in apartment fees. There was an employee strike in 1977. There were problems with food service providers, personnel policies, and increasing indebtedness. But gradually, these obstacles were overcome, due in large part to the optimism and generosity of residents. And by its twentieth anniversary, the Manor was securely established and ready to grow.

Over the years, several residents have undertaken to record the history of the Manor, now in its sixty-first year. These are available in our library.

In July, 1981, Willa-Hoyt Budd wrote the short A History of Rogue Valley Manor, 1961-1981: In celebration of the Twentieth Anniversary.

In 1990, George M. Jemison published  A History of Rogue Valley Manor, 1955-1989.

In the years 1998 to 2003, an annual yearbook was published.

In 2015, Faye Isaak published her comprehensive history with lots of colored photos, Vision with a View: How Rogue Valley Manor Evolved through Grace and Gumption.  The book is in the RVM Library, and copies are available for sale at the RVM Foundation office ($25 apiece).

In addition, there are back copies of Hill Topics, which first appeared in November 1961 as Hill-Top-Ics.

Others have continued to carry on the work of these authors—not necessarily to write another history, but to keep track of important events as they unfold, to archive historic materials: in a word, as Manor Historians.

Norma Trump

RVM History Part 2 — by Joni Johnson

Norma and Mike Trump joined RVM in 2010, and she was RVM’s historian from 2011 until Daphne Fautin took over in 2015.  Before Norma, the post had gone vacant for a number of years.  While Norma never had formal training as a historian/librarian, she had been involved in genealogy for almost 60 years.  She and her husband, Mike, were extremely active with the Cloverdale Historical Society. They were in Cloverdale, California for 10 years before coming to RVM and were instrumental in helping the Historical Society erect the History Center. From the Cloverdale Historical Society current website, I was able to pull up the following paragraph: “From the early years of the Historical Society founded by Jack Howell with years of support from Marge Gray, Mike and Norma Trump, and many others to the building of the History Center, volunteers dedicated to preserving local history have made a difference”. In Mike and Norma’s honor, the research library was named the Trump Research Library.

During Norma’s time as historian, she and Mike scanned all of the old papers, catalogs and historical books as well as all of the issues of Hill Topics dating back to 1961. Everything was put on CDs.  In addition, she would go through the Mail Tribune looking for articles dealing with RVM residents including their activities, accomplishments and deaths. She would put these in binders.

Norma’s greatest wish is that RVM would finally dedicate a room to the history of the Manor with places for the binders, photographs and artifacts.  She feels that there is so much to offer our residents and prospective residents given our longevity, our own history and the continued change we see here at the Manor.

Daphne Fautin

RVM History Part 3 — by Daphne Fautin and Bob Buddemeier

Daphne Fautin was surprised at how easy it was to become Residents Council Historian.  She was still a newcomer (after arriving in mid-2015) when she responded to an RVMlist notice seeking a successor to Norma Trump.  “I thought there would be competition,” she said.  Instead, the job was quickly hers.

Her interests had included the frontier history of Wyoming—where she grew up, and Utah—where her father’s family lived.  Her professional activities, as a marine biologist specializing in sea anemones, had included archival as well as experimental research, and organization of a session at a History of Oceanography symposium.

She thought that taking on the job would be easy, since Faye Isaak had recently published her book, and Norma Trump, with the help of her husband Mike, had collected and digitized a large amount of material.

Daphne’s initial efforts focused mostly on trying to identify the people, events, and organizations depicted in a number of old photographs.  She examined old directories and interviewed long-term residents.  She enjoyed meeting the people and following their lives, but was frustrated at how difficult it was to make positive identifications in many cases.

However, new challenges were on the horizon.  She documented the progression of the Norovirus epidemic, which proved to be an excellent warm-up for the COVID-19 experience – and, of course, the Almeda fire evacuation.  All of these were not only novel events in the history of RVM, but also transformative in the terms of RVM management and aspects of resident life.

When asked about her hopes for continuation of historical information collection at RVM, she replied forcefully that it was critical to develop a system whereby the information can be reliably preserved and made available to the residents.  “Information was lost when a computer was replaced, and the Residents Council has no computer system or custodian to provide permanent storage and access,” she said.  At present, historical archives will be transferred to the next historian as a notebook and a flash drive.

Joanne Hafner- Catholic

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            Joanne Hafner

For a long time, Catholics were not allowed to serve meat on Christmas eve.  So when I was a kid, my mom would always serve Oyster stew. It was supposed to be something very special.  I can’t remember eating it but I must have been forced to take a taste of it.

Then, when Jack and I were married in 1955, his mother would always serve a very special meal for the close family including a tuna casserole on large scallop shells.  Then we would clear up the table and then at 8:00 all the distant family would arrive (I fondly called them the outlaws- cousins, aunts, uncles – there had to be at least twenty) and Mrs. Hafner had presents for everyone including the children.

Then, at 11:30, Jack and I took our 4 children home and left them with their baby sitter and we would go to midnight mass which lasted for at least two hours.  Then we would go home and would get all the presents out under the tree, put together the toys that needed to be connected and tried to have everything done by six am when the kids would wake up.  And of course, then we would be there and enjoy watching them open their presents.  One of the toys was called the Green Odd Ogg which we got for our little three year old girl, Anne.  The only trouble was that she pulled on it and sat on it and broke it and she was heart broken and cried for the whole day.  We finally collapsed at the end of Christmas day.

Kathy Perkins- Catholic

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              Kathy Perkins

I went to high school at St. Ursula’s Convent and Academy in Cincinnati, as did all my other seven sisters. I really didn’t realize how unique it was and how well we were prepared until I went to college.  Some of the things I remember most were the rituals and traditions that we experienced.  For example, there was graduation.  First of all, we had to wear floor length white dresses and carry a dozen red-stemmed roses across the stage to receive our diploma.  The roses were in our left hand, our heads held high, no bleeding from the thorns.  We learned that two-inch heels were better than three-inch heels and we had to practice, practice, practice to make this all come true with no broken bones or torn stockings.  Then we had a REAL ball afterwards.  And I remember the senior tea with sterling silver service. It was a different time. And I felt really lucky to receive my education there.

At Christmas, we would sing in a candlelit white marble chapel donning a white veil and candle and singing 3-4 part harmony.  It was one of the many beautiful traditions that bring a smile to my face and that I share with my seven sisters.  It was such a special experience which, as a kid, I took for granted.

Bob Hall- Sufi

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                  Bob Hall

 

According to the dictionary,  Sufism is the inner  mystical meaning of Islam,  which  does not tell us much.  The Sufis are at home in all religions.  They have no dogma.  They follow the religion of love in the spiritual sense, not the physical sense. There is no dogma that you are asked to believe.  Instead we are drawn to support and assist that which is constructive  around us. My dad had a very helpful and constructive  attitude toward others but no formal religion..  After an immersion in Christianity, His example seemed to suit me best.

 

Russy Sumariwalla- Zoroastrian

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         Russy Sumariwalla

About Zoroastrianism & The Parsi Community

Zoroastrianism [Z] is considered by most scholars as one of the oldest continually practiced  religions – if not the oldest – in the world. It was born in the ancient Persian Empire [now reduced to Iran]; its date is controversial but most place it between 3000 and 2500BC. After the birth of Islam and its conquest of Persia around 700-750 AD, a small group of devout Z escaped from Iran and sought political asylum on the west coast of India and settled near Bombay [now Mumbai]. Since these immigrants came from Persia  [known in India at the time as Paras] they were called Parsi. Thus Russy is a member of the Parsi community in India. Over the millennia the Parsi community multiplied and prospered. They brought their Z religion with them to India. However, today their numbers have dwindled to around 50,000-70,000 in India.

According to the Z orthodoxy one has to be born in the religion – at least the father must be a Parsi. There is no conversion and no proselytism allowed in India by the Parsi community. Beginning in early 20thcentury many Parsis migrated to Europe, Canada and the U.S. and again brought their Z religion with them in the form of “Fire Temples” [place of worship]. Today these temples exist in some of the large cities around the world such as London, Chicago, Houston, and in San Jose, CA. The Foundation of the Z religion rests on three principles: Hoomakt, Hookhakt, Harvarst translated as:

Good Words, Good Thoughts, Good Deeds, as preached by the prophet Zarathushtra or Zoroaster. Not unlike with other religions, the Parsi diaspora here celebrate their own holiday festivities like their New Year [Navroz], with religious prayers, special meals, parties, etc. A majority of the Parsi community in the U.S. is engaged in the professions: Physicians, Lawyers, Engineers, Scientists, Teachers and Professors, Writers and Researchers. Of course, in the U.S. there is no restrictions on marrying outside of the Parsi community – Russy is married to Anita [from Switzerland] who is a Christian.