Complement Contents September 2023
NEWS & VIEWS
Camping the Easy Way: My New Van – Fifi, by Joni Johnson
The Limits to Emergency Solar Power, by Scott Wetenkamp and Bob Buddemeier
Child Care at RVM? by Connie Kent
Other Newsletters
3550: quarterly magazine by and for the residents of Mirabella Portland
Mirabella Monthly (September issue), Newsletter of the Seattle Mirabella
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
They Dropped the Charges, by Eleanor Lippmann
September in the Library: School’s in Session, by Anne Newins
Garage Invasion- A True Crime Story, by Robert Mumby
Judy’s Dolls, by Judy Hunter, photos by Reina Lopez
Calendars
Concerts and Performances, submitted by Mary Jane Morrison
Classes, Games, and Events, submitted by Sarah Karnatz
NWNtest
NIT WIT NEWZ
(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, often unreliable, on-line news service designed to keep Manor residents abreast of the inconsequential, unverified, and trifling events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor).
Figure 2: Car Plug
RING AROUND THE COLLAR
“Oh my, it’s eight o’clock, I told your parents I’d have you kids in bed by now.”
“But Uncle Willie, you promised to read us a story first, remember?”
“Oh yeah, you’re right Jimmy, I forgot about that. Well what should we read? Let’s see, you’ve got Peter Pan, Winnie the Po…”
“No, no. We like this one.”
“What’s that Betty? Hmm, ‘A Children’s Treasury of Exciting Tales from Senior Living Communities.’ Are you sure you…”
“Yes, we love those stories. They’re the best.“
“Well, okay. Jump in bed and we’ll give it a try. Here goes—”
Once upon a time in a land not so very far away, there was a senior community. It was an enchanted community. Cares and woes were infrequent visitors. Lives were lived in blissful harmony. That’s just the way things were at Elderly Acres.
Life was good.
On warm days, a truck drove through the community and handed out Kona Ice in many popular flavors. When cooler days prevailed, food trucks were parked hither and yon and served tacos—free—even when it wasn’t Tuesday.
Correction: Life was not just good at Elderly Acres—life was very good.
Until it wasn’t.
[ Jimmy: “Oh boy, I’ll bet here’s where things start getting good.”]
One day, it was discovered that a golden napkin ring from Elderly Acre’s nicest dining room was missing. Its absence was mystifying since the rings were scrupulously accounted for each evening before, after, and even during, dinner. Moreover, the napkin rings helped turn ordinary dining into, well, fine dining.
An immediate search of the dining room was unsuccessful, as was a dutiful campus-wide hunt by each concerned resident (that would mean everyone at Elderly Acres).
Staff members were immediately exonerated [Uncle Willie: “That means, kids, the staff was not to blame.”] , since each shift begins and ends with a walk through an airport-like metal detector.
To check residents, a highly effective, FDA approved, truth serum was added to the popular chickpea ratatouille casserole each evening at all dining venues for an entire week. It yielded dozens of confessions from the community’s residents; many quite revealing—some startlingly so—but, alas, none were about the missing golden napkin ring.
Angst swept across the campus. Could it be that the hitherto serene Elderly Acres had become an infested area of rampant crime? Residents were up in arms.
Concern heightened. Concern broadened.
Meanwhile, in a seemingly unrelated set of events, the brood of wild turkeys that lumbered aimlessly about the Elderly Acres campus had suddenly become uncharacteristically restive. They began to gobble all through the night keeping residents awake.
Although disturbing, this did not deter the Elderly Acres security department. They soldiered on in their important search for the golden napkin ring. That remained Job #1.
One morning, while driving toward the employee parking lot, one of the community’s security guards slowed to allow a flock of the turkeys to cross the street. Odd, he thought, one of the smaller toms was leading a group of orderly hens, while several large toms, with plumage fully displayed, obediently trailed behind. It was unlike the usual disarrayed, random movement of turkey meanderings on campus.
It appeared, however, that the turkeys had found a leader— albeit small in stature and modest in plumage. They followed this member in near lock-step. It was an unusual sight.
Just then, a glancing sun reflection caught the guard’s eye. It came from the direction of that small, lead turkey where his elongated neck met his torso. There it was: The missing golden napkin ring.
[Betty: “You see, Uncle, isn’t this exciting?”]
How the ring found its way out of the dining room and around the small turkey’s neck, launched endless campus speculation. None of it probable.
In the past, several of Elderly Acres’s security guards had come to grips with white collar crime, none, sad to say, had experience with a gold collar crime.
Nonetheless, “Who took it?” was no longer the question. Now, the question was, “How to retrieve it?
Turkey-cide was dismissed out of hand. The Elderly Acres’s animal rights lobby was well-funded and just too politically powerful to allow such a thing.
Further complicating the recovery effort, years of failed attempts to snare and thin the burgeoning Elderly Acres wild turkey flock had proved fruitless. Now— to make retrievable efforts even more difficult—grabbing this thief, holding him down, and attempting to wrestle a ring off of the nine-inch long neck of this squawking tom turkey without harming him, would be a fool’s errand. Not one of the guards was willing to undertake that errand. No resident could blame them. None did.
[Uncle Willie:“Are you kids getting sleepy?” Kids in unison: “No, we love it. Read on! Read on!”]
An emergency session of the Elderly Acre’s Resident’s Council was called at the auditorium to decide how to proceed on the “turkey trouble.” To wit: getting the napkin ring back; ending the all-night gobbling.
About this time, a wondrous event unfolded right there in front of the auditorium. Surprising himself and astounding his flock, Herbert, the newly deemed, golden-collared turkey leader, found he could talk! What? A turkey talks? Yes, talk! Once he cleared his throat—a time-consuming task considering its length,— out came near-perfect English.
Shocked flock members were immediately convinced that that mysterious golden neck ring enabled Herbert’s new-found skill. Who could say it didn’t? A new wave of reverential awe flowed from the flock to their bedecked, and now talking, leader. So, too, did a generous dose of swagger.
Emboldened, Herbert worked his way into the auditorium and onto the stage, adjusting the mic to his two-foot-nine inch height, Herbert told the audience he was there to “talk turkey.” Aghast, the residents were struck silent at what they were witnessing.
Herbert proceeded to outline his flocks disaffection with their lifestyle at Elderly Acres. [Uncle Willie: “Meaning, kids, the turkeys were unhappy.“]
He told the audience that his flock had become fearful of the cars whipping through campus streets and that the flock’s all-night squawking was a protest to register concerns for their safety.
Herbert proceeded to read a brief list of two demands: The speed limit must be reduced from 20 to 10 mph; Speed bumps had to be installed at key campus locations.
If those demands were met, Herbert assured the council, the garrulous, all-night gobbling would cease.
His timing was perfect. The Resident Council members—most with frazzled nerves from way too many wakeful nights, and facing yet another evening of the same—decided to engage the turkey leader in negotiations—on the spot.
The auditorium doors were shut.
Forty-five minutes later they opened.
A settlement had been reached.
The results: The speed limit was negotiated at a compromised 15 mph. And the speed bumps were reduced to speed humps.
Herbert and his minions were satisfied.
Relieved too, the Elderly Acres residents would no longer have to wonder if a dearly needed silent night was only a December event.
But wait! How about that golden napkin ring around Herbert’s neck?
Not negotiable.
With the disputation behind them, both sides came to realize that the golden ring was the vital communications link that brought the two disparate parties together. It was to remain on Herbert’s neck.
Swallowing hard, the residents of Elderly Acres resigned themselves to face the prospect that their fine dining experience each evening would be without the full complement of eighty golden napkin rings.
[Uncle Willie: You kids must be getting tired. Shall we finish this tomorr …”] [Jimmy: No, no, finish it now”]
And so it came to pass that serenity returned to Elderly Acres. Life was good, very good—once again.
And yes, of course, you guessed it—everyone lived happily ever after!
[Betty: “Wow! Wasn’t that great? Kona ice, free tacos, talking turkeys, magic napkin rings—so much fun! Let’s ask Mom if next summer instead of camp, we can spend two weeks with you at your senior community, Uncle Willie. Wouldn’t that be great?]
(silence)
[Jimmy: “I think he dozed off.”]
——————
Important Note to Nit Wit Newz Readers:
Any similarity in this story to actual persons, places, or animals, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
—A. Looney
Once upon a time in a land not so very far away, there was a senior community…
Soothe Your Inner Gerbil
by Bob Buddemeier
Reader beware! The author has no formal credentials in the fields of psychology, physiology, or life management, but decades of personal experience with confusion, indecisiveness, procrastination and wide-ranging dysfunction have convinced him that he is qualified to experiment and advise on those subjects. Use at your own risk!
Do you ever feel like your brain consists of a multitude of gerbils, all running at top speed on their exercise wheels with no net progress whatsoever? I do, and after protracted research and reflection I have come to understand why, and what to do about it. And I am going to share that with you.
calm but alert gerbil
The secret: If it acts like a gerbil, treat it like a gerbil! Unfortunately, the rodent model of human cognition has received far too little popular attention. Herewith, a brief description to facilitate effective interactions.
First, forget about the scientific jargon involving neurons, synapses, etc. Your nervous system is a nation of teeny tiny gerbils, organized into interconnected communities according to their occupational specialties. When the system is well-supported and operating smoothly, it produces a high GEP (Gerbil Economic Product) for export to you.
There are Collector Gerbils who receive and import resources from the Outside (e.g, sounds, sights, smells, etc.) and transform them into what we can think of as kibble. A wide range of kibble of different shapes, sizes, colors, tastes, and digestibility. These they pass on to the Sorter Gerbils.
Sorters have limited autonomy; they can pass certain kinds of kibble directly to the appropriate specialists, but mostly they are guided by the decisions of a committee of Silverback Gerbils, who oversee the distribution of inputs in order to maintain the GEP.
Team Gerbil, ready for project
Usually things work smoothly, but sometimes the input causes the Collectors to produce an imbalance of kibble types, including too much poorly digestible kibble that takes a long time to process. Then the Sorters are passing too many bits to the Emergency Response Gerbils, and becoming frustrated by the overload and unbalanced inventory.
The Silverbacks, faced with multiple unaccustomed problems, fall to arguing among themselves and fail to instruct the sorters. As a result, the communities receive a downpour of poorly sorted kibble that overwhelms their infrastructure and does not provide the necessary resources. The communities of Producer Gerbils fragment within, and try to raid other communities for the necessary resources. Order breaks down, and GAF (Gerbil Adrenaline Flow) spikes – sometimes dangerously. This condition is known as Non-Selective Overload (NSO).
What then? Every gerbil has access to an exercise wheel, individual or communal. Under normal conditions an appropriate amount
Stressed gerbil working out
of well-timed exercise keeps the individual and community functioning. When overload builds up, the gerbils instinctively try to burn up their GAF by exercising harder and longer on the wheel, sometimes skipping work to do so. Productivity goes down.
When full-blown NSO is occurring, the gerbils become almost demonically hyperactive; they leap on their wheels and dash frenziedly “forward” in a glazed-eye, mouth-foaming sprint. Both gerbils and wheels squeak and chatter loudly, and of course GEP plummets. You can’t help but notice this – often acutely.
Ultimate Overload
Dealing with NSO – the solution to the problem of getting your gerbils back to work is, somewhat counterintuitively, a different kind of overload. Ultra-Selective Overload (USO) is a technique for replacing the distractingly diverse and unbalanced input of NSO with a surfeit of a very few kinds of attractive and enjoyable input. The gerbils are made happy by what they get, realize that production is impossible, and subside into mellow passivity. GEP remains very low, but it is essential to recognize this as a necessary period of recovery that will result in a quicker return to normal behavior.
Providing Ultra-Selective Overload: Control of the material that the Collector Gerbils can access is one of the most effective means of getting to USO. One possibility is total shutdown – essentially, starving the communities into submission. Unfortunately, the starting point almost always involves large existing stocks of poorly digestible kibble that keep the communities operating poorly and unhappily.
Recovering gerbil
So — and here comes the advice – we need to pick out a few Collectors and feed them input that will produce lots of kibble with pleasantly hypnotic qualities. It has to be sustainable; the gerbils do not calm down and get off their wheels immediately — they need to be coaxed into resting mode over time. Taste, smell and touch are hard to sustain; sight and sound are the obvious choices for kibble raw material in our era of technologically augmented input.
HOW TO: Let’s acknowledge that natural may be best – although peripheral inputs may distract, real-world floating clouds, fluttering leaves, and flowing water can do the job. But that means you have to find a desirable environment where you can hang out any time, and more or less indefinitely. Realistically, you may need to soothe your gerbils at night, or in bad weather, or in the middle of a city. Then —
Completely soothed gerbils
We use our smart TV, computer, or maybe cell phone (but screen and speakers are pretty small). Some of the things that my gerbils respond to can be seen or downloaded by clicking on https://thecomplement.info/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Soothing-methods.pdf. Yours may be different, but there are many sources offering various alternatives. For simplicity, my examples are accessible on Youtube, which can be accessed free from any computer/phone browser with an internet connection, and from most if not all smart TVs.
So check them out. Get a feeling for what might work before the furry little rascals slide all the way into anarchy. Once you have taken the initial steps into gerbil control, you will find that you are better positioned to start adjusting the community diet as soon as the first few wheels start squeaking. Remember, if you look after your Inner Gerbils, they will look after you.
New Era Dawns at RVM!
A note to the readers: The material that follows is SATIRE, bordering occasionally on PARODY. If you find yourself taking it seriously, it may be time to step up another rung or two on the Continuous Care ladder
The virtual ink was barely dry on the video presentation of the Strategic Plan when the projected pieces started to materialize and fall into place.
The first enabling breakthrough occurred when the Technical Committee produced a report on Artificial Intelligence, which for financial reasons led promptly to the replacement of the PRS Legal Department with a subscription to SuMe, the eLegal Bot. This resulted in the ability to produce policies, contracts, and cautionary statements with a speed approaching that of light – noticeably faster than the previous system. Furthermore, SuMe is infinitely patient about being sent back to try again until he/she/they/it come(s) up with a workable document.
These legal decision-making characteristics proved crucial in the first substantive leap forward, which addressed initiatives 1, 3, 7, 9, 11, and 13 (click here to review content). It was also the most challenging of the recent developments, as it involved the inquiry from ONO (Organization of Nude Octagenarians) about the possibility of establishing a compact clothing-free sub-community within the larger RVM Community. RVM Administration, sensitive to the opportunity for fleshing out Manor occupancy, conducted a survey among the residents on the emptier floors, and discovered that by offering significant incentives to current residents, a clothing-free zone could be established.
After detailed negotiations with ONO about lobby limitations and pool session scheduling, the final agreement came down to issues involving the Dress Code.
Anticipating difficult negotiations, the Residents Council Executive Board established a Special Committee, Review of Dress (SCROD). In addition to dealing with the immediate issue, this decision produced a highly visible body which made it possible to tell any resident complaining about the dress code to go get SCROD.
To the surprise of many, the Committee was receptive to ONO’s proposal, based on their assurance that members would never wear dirty jeans, shorts, hats, pajamas, or swim or workout garb. The minor sticking point involved collars, considered essential by some. A compromise was reached by drawing on experience with masks during the pandemic. A box of disposable collars would be put at the entry to each dining venue, and ONOs would be encouraged to wear them while dining, in support of the psychological wellness of other residents.
Buoyed by this success, the Administration was more than ready to rise to the next opportunity. The presence of some aging but still mobile motorcyclists on campus resulted in a request by a local club to set up an arrangement similar to the ONO contract. This proved simpler. SCROD agreed to tolerate an occasional helmet as long as the leathers had collars and full length legs, and the administration agreed to cut wheel-width groves in both sides of each speed bump. In turn, the bikers agreed to change their name to “SSMC” and remove all “Satan’s Seniors Motorcycle Club” patches.
Some concerns arose among cottage dwellers about possible was allayed when an RVM administrator pointed out that residents who rode cycles exhaust noise, but this would help alleviate the parking problem at the very minor cost of some restriping. Residual concerns about the additional space requirements when old bikers transition to tricycles will be addressed as we gain experience with the new arrangements.
Although these developments of community relations alleviated much of the Manor occupancy problem, the win-win aspect of the SSMC agreement alerted the Administration to the possibility of resident organizations solving some of RVM’s ongoing problems.
Thus, when RVM was approached by representatives of COW (Council of Wicca), agreement was virtually assured when it was learned that many of the COWs’ sacred ceremonies involved the copious use of turkey entrails. Since modern Wiccans seldom wear tall pointy hats, and both brooms and roombas (for the less robust members) can be accommodated by the Dining Services walker parking protocol, SCROD had no concerns. The clinching agreement was provided when RVM provided assurances that the open area below the MSC would be available for the COWs to dance widdershins around a large bonfire during periods of low fire danger.
With these increases in fiscal stability and community diversity achieved, both the RVM Administration and the Residents Council look forward with optimism to a bright future for all.
Bonnie and Clyde
photo by Reina Lopez; text by Connie Kent
Yvonne Lynn stopped short when she saw the 1930 Ford in the Rods and Rides car show on July 1st. It reminded her of one of her mother’s favorite stories. She and her boyfriend, out for a ride in his Model A (or was it was a Model T?), stopped and went into a bar. When the couple entered the bar, everything stopped! All the people in the bar froze, thinking they were seeing Bonnie and Clyde.
On the left is Yvonne in 2023; on the right are her mother and boyfriend and an unidentified man in the 1930s.
Classes, Games and Parties — TEST
submitted by Sarah Karnatz
Sign-up sheets are in the notebooks at the Manor reception desk
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June 7 |
Emergency Preparedness, with Jens Larson & Bob Berger |
1 pm – 2:30 pm |
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Auditorium |
Open to all residents |
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June 8 |
Inquiring Minds: Field Trip to Rock Museum |
9:15 am – 11:30 am |
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Bus confirmed for 24 |
Sign-ups required (24) |
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June 12 |
A Taste Of Germany, with Joseph Shaughnessy |
4pm – 6pm |
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Sunrise Room |
Sign ups required (48) |
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June 13 |
Inquiring Minds: Resident Tree Walk |
10am -11:30am |
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Meet at the Flag Pole |
Sign ups required (20) |
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June 15, 22, |
Inquiring Minds: Math for your Amazement |
10am – 11:30am |
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Applegate Room |
Sign ups required (30) |
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June 19 |
Concert in the park w/ Mercy |
3pm -5pm |
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Lower 40 |
Open to all residents |
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June 20 |
Inquiring Minds: Out of our Faucets |
10am -11:30am |
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Deschutes Room |
Sign ups required (45) |
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June 27 |
Inquiring Minds: Teen Music Theater of Oregon |
10 am – 11:30 am |
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Sunrise Room |
Sign ups required (55) |
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July |
Inquiring Minds Summer Camp Month |
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July 1 |
Rods & Rides Hot Rod Car Show & BBQ Lunch |
10am – 2pm |
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Plaza parking lot |
Open to all residents |
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July 3 |
Kona Shave Ice Truck |
11am – 2pm |
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July 3 |
For Staff: behind pool |
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July 9 |
Inquiring Minds: Campfire sing along with Joyful Voices |
6pm – 7pm |
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Auditorium |
Open to all residents |
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July 9 |
Kona Shave Ice Truck |
11am – 2pm |
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towers & both villages |
Open to all residents |
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