May Library Display

The library volunteers decided that it is time for Oregon natives and transplants to recognize our beautiful state despite all the troubles of the past year.  With that in  mind, a wide variety of books about Oregon are on the Manor Library display table for your reading and visual pleasure during the coming month.  These include books by Manor authors John Kemper, Ann Sutton, and Carol Barrett.  There are volumes about Medford and the Rogue River.  There are even some novels based in Oregon.  A small sample of the books are listed below:

History of a People, by Stephen Dow Beckham.  This is considered a classic history of Southern Oregon native peoples during the 1850’s and the Rogue River Wars.

Skookum, by Shannon Applegate.  This is a recounting of the Applegate family, early settlers in our area.

Camp White–City in the Desert, by George Kramer.  Learn about the many events at Camp White during World War II.

Oregon Wine:  A Deep Rooted History, by Scott Sursa.  All about the development of wine making in Oregon.

Display created by Bonny Turner

Surviving Surviving

By Joni Johnson

Becoming suddenly single through the loss of a loved one is not an easy thing to navigate. There is, of course, the paperwork, which I understand is quite an adventure.  But in addition, all of a sudden you are faced with a whole new world to maneuver.  Who are my friends?  I used to be a couple.  What am I now?  How do I play?  Where do I eat and with whom? So many questions while at the same time you are grieving for your lost love and the comfort and habits of the past and worried and uncertain about your expectations for the future. . . .

And yet, there are many here on campus who arrived at RVM as a “solitaire”- either because they have always chosen to be single or because they have chosen to remain single after becoming widowed or divorced. In many ways, they have faced the same questions, but without the same pain attached, and I thought it would be interesting to learn how they have managed to enjoy their life as a single person.

In writing this article, I interviewed men and women who had lost their significant other while living at the Manor as well as men and women who had come to RVM content in their single status.  This is what I found.

One thing that made a difference for those who have come as couples is how dependent each one was when they were a twosome.  If the suddenly absent partner had specific jobs in the family like doing the finances or maintaining the household, the suddenly single partner might be required to learn all sorts of new skills. In some of the cases I interviewed,it meant learning how to cook, getting the house ready for the cleaners, how to wash the clothes, learning the computer, taking the dog out, learning how to do the taxes. For some, that meant needing extra help at the beginning. Where once they could rely on someone else, now they had to do it alone. And all these adjustments must take place at exactly the same time one is grieving. It can be overwhelming. Luckily, at the Manor, there is guidance and support if one looks for it. There are people here to help with taxes and computer skills and all sorts of other advice.  It just requires asking for it. People to Contact for Help at RVM

Oddly enough, when I talked with those who have come as “solitaires”, and I asked them what they liked the most about being single, they said it was that they felt empowered to make decisions on their own. They didn’t have to worry about what anyone else thought.  They could go where they wanted, travel where they wanted. They loved being on their own.

In a sense, the biggest issue seems to be establishing a new self-vision. That is hard to describe and is more easily explained in how one navigates the new world that used to be the terrain of “couples”.  All of a sudden, one’s partner for dinner is gone. Going to plays and concerts is now different.  One has to sort of reinvent who one is. And that usually means going way out of one’s comfort zone.  If you were lucky and were a member of a religious group or a bridge group or a dog group or the Hawaii crowd, you were fortunate because some of your work was done for you. Such people were often scooped up and taken care of by a group that they were already a part of. That might mean being invited to lunches or dinners or other events.  However, it often depended on the person him or herself to branch out and invite others to an event which might include a meal or a play or concert.  And that certainly was more difficult.

Some people used the friendship tables to get to know others.  That will be changing in the future since friendship tables may be disappearing.  In the future, when reservations are no longer required, RVM restaurant hosts will be asking guests if they would like to have others join them or if single members would like to join other tables. This might make it easier for those who are alone to dine with others without making arrangements ahead of time.

Another loss for those new to the single life was being alone at night when typically one had someone to talk with and share the day.  That is hard to replace.  It just takes time.  In my discussion with those who have made peace with their loss or who chose to live as a single, it doesn’t seem to be an issue.  Somehow, life just takes over.  It’s when one watches TV or reads or writes.  And if one has something important to discuss, they find someone to call or Skype or Facetime with.  It just doesn’t seem to be a problem any more.

For those who traveled a lot with their spouses, all of a sudden, there are travel groups.  In fact, I know of several people who have found friends they love to travel with through these groups, so that feeling of loneliness just lasted one trip.

What people tell me is that the bottom line to “surviving surviving” is really up to you. There are all sorts of ways to get help with the grieving process.  Counselors like our own Linda Bellinson who provides private sessions and groups, Father Joel (and his soon to be successor), Chaplain Anya and outside counselors and groups are wonderful resources to help newly singles move through grief to the other side.  Friends, especially those who are newly or long-time single, are wonderful resources for activities. My interviewees say,  “Don’t wait for them to invite you.  Invite them! Join activities, especially now that Covid is moving away and we are rejoining the human race again.”

Those who have chosen to be single have the same issues.  Who do I eat with?  Who do I play with?  How do I spend my time?  They solve them the same way.  They ask people out on dates!  They are the masters of their fates.  And that is what they love about being single!  And they say, so will you. Just give it time.

Obsolete and Unashamed

by Bob Buddemeier

Those of us who frequent RVMlist have many opportunities to view compilations of “old stuff” — some nostalgic, many humorous, but mostly with a theme of  “people nowadays don’t understand what it was like back in the day.”  Telephones, toaster ovens, TVs (or lack thereof) and the ever-present ’57 Chevy.  Some of the archaic icons I can relate to, some I can’t — my first car was a ’47 Nash.   Major irony — the kid who couldn’t get a serious date had a car in which the back seat made into a bed.

It may be that my tendency toward being culturally crosswise inspired me (so to speak) to consider the subject backward – that is, in terms of the things that modem people take for granted that have passed me by.  Or for which I have pulled over to allow them to go around, which is more often the case.

However, every so often I get curious enough about what I have missed to try to find out a little about what is going on out there in the world, and why.  I get most of my news from newspapers, but not whole newspapers —individual articles deflected into Google News.  I think — and hope — that this provides a lopsided view of things.  If so, it could explain why, several years ago, I began to wonder who these Kardashians were, and what they did.  After a little on-line research, I ultimately discovered that what they did was pose for photographs and engage in dysfunctional relationships, which is considered newsworthy in some circles.

Which led me initially to the concept of the synthetic celebrity, on the basis of the idea that a celebrity is something to be celebrated.  That would make “synthetic celebrity” an oxymoron, but on further reflection I decided that it was actually a redundancy.  In modem American English, it seems to me that “celebrity” is rarely applied to anyone who has much of any redeeming social virtue or utility.  Can you imagine calling Dr. Fauci a celebrity?  Martin Luther King, Jr.?

So it is with the Kardashians — manufactured plastic fame, coated with synthetic sweeteners.  The eagerly awaited further adventures of Khaki, Komi, and Krum and their consorts-of-the-moment provide us with little more than a regrettable excuse to look down on the already-beleagured people of Armenian ancestry.  [Contest above left:  guess the Kardashian]

My latest — and ongoing — cultural research activity is, if I do say so myself, a trifle more high minded.  What, I asked myself, are these “memes” that everybody refers to?  I got the general idea that they are some sort of upscale emoticon that people are supposed to recognize as a surrogate for a complex concept.

On investigation, I found that their present popularity, somewhat like that of the Kardashians, is intimately linked to the internet.  It all started out with Richard Dawkins (if you don’t know who he was, read on anyway — he’s not a real celebrity; that would be an oxymoron).  He invented the term as a cultural analog of “gene” — the basic unit by which culture is transmitted from one (cultural) generation to the next.

I’m OK with that, but as I delved a little deeper, I ran into some conceptual problems.  For example, it turns out that the picture of the girl staring at her boyfriend as he stares at another girl’s butt is a meme.

So are the LOLCATS (example at right).  And Sign Bunnies.   And Poe’s Law (“it is nearly impossible to tell the difference between satire of extremism and actual extremism on the internet”).

Dawkins predicted that cultural evolution would be incredibly fast compared to biological evolution because of the speed with which internet-accelerated memes could move, mix, and mutate.  IMHO, with a strong emphasis on the mutation.

When asked about recent usage, Dawkins said “So when anybody talks about something going viral on the internet, that is exactly what a meme is and it looks as though the word has been appropriated for a subset of that.”

Well, fellow fogies, are you still with me?  If so, start slowing down, because I’m pulling over to the side of the road again.  Probably for good, this time.

[Wondering if I just made this up?  Check out:
https://www.sciencefriday.com/articles/the-origin-of-the-word-meme/]

 

WHAT’S IN IT FOR US?

WHAT’S IN IT FOR US?

by Bob Buddemeier

In the summary document Transparency in Decision-making at RVM, and in the longer essay on which it is based, Mark Edy makes the case that the longer-range plans of PRS/RVM, and the processes of their implementation, are not “transparent” – that is, residents cannot look at the information provided and hope to understand what is being done, how, or why, and what the impact on the RVM community may be.

Does it matter?  Do we residents need to worry our gray and/or balding heads about the details of on- or off-site property development?

One way of asking the question is as I circulated on RVMlist: I think the fundamental question is about what it means to live in a retirement community that happens to be operated by a corporation whose primary objective is real estate development.”

I received a number of responses (all positive in agreement and concern) – one of the most cogent was:

“You’ve hit the nail on the head. As we watch our services decline, staff members leave (fired or willingly), and many cost-cutting measures being put into place, it’s becoming clear that resident needs are being supplanted by the desire to gather resources to continue development projects. We’ve become commodities to be used as a means to an end. This isn’t what I signed up for.”

Let’s review.  Real estate development is not essential to the operation of a retirement community; many, perhaps most, are single-function businesses.  When the organization expands to multiple properties and to real estate development beyond that required to provide direct services to residents, choices arise. How are resources allocated among the various components of the two sub-businesses?  Which drives the organizational structure, staffing, and expenditures?

Mark’s observations support my opinion (and that of my correspondent quoted above) that development and management is the real business, with service to retirees a vestigial excuse and/or cash cow.  Realistically, residents cannot hope to change this – there is too much money and momentum committed.  They can, however, do more to safeguard and advance their interests.

What’s in it for me?  Freeway interchange expansion brings more traffic, which I don’t want, and has almost no possibility of creating a commercial development that improves my quality of life.  More cottages on the golf course increase the use of fixed common facilities, and demands on an already diminished support staff.  What’s in it for me?  For us?  For our successors?

A resident told me that if RVM sold the Ellendale property for $2M, it would be good for the community.  Sorry — real estate profits don’t get rolled into the operating funds that would replace the lost gardeners or wellness assistants, or buy premium food instead of restaurant supply offerings.  They pay off loans or increase liquidity to improve bond ratings, or support the next phase of development.  That doesn’t have to be the case; a business focused on retirement could use income-producing property or investments — or even loans secured by the property — to maintain a reserve fund to tide the community over financial shocks (e.g., an increase in minimum wage) and to cushion necessary changes by providing time to consult and plan for the optimum adaptation.

We can’t expect an enforceable contract, but we can demand a corporate commitment to provide direct and demonstrable benefit to the residents from the proceeds of development.  In order to get that we have to have resident officers and representatives who are willing to speak out consistently and publicly, asking “What’s in it for us?” and communicating the answers.  And those officers and representatives need the backing of an informed, concerned, and active resident population.

What’s the incentive for corporate compliance?  Well, it is recognized that the retirement business is becoming increasingly competitive (article on CCRC “endangerment”).  As one small example, two of my children have put down deposits to move into RVM.  Will it still look like an attractive option 4-6 years from now?  If the trajectory for the next 6 years is like that for the last 6, they may decide to opt for a facility where the management is actually in the retirement business.

 

Link  to: Transparency in Decision-making at RVM

Link to long form essay:  PRS and RVM Planning and Development Lack Transparency

Link to:  RVMlist comments

 

 

 

Life’s End Comments

Comments received regarding “One Life’s End

(author identifications removed)

Why Share These?

As Daphne and I went through the process described we discovered that there was much more interest than information in the RVM community.  Improving that situation is up to the residents — Death with Dignity and related subjects are “controversial,” and since PRS and RVM are interested in appealing to the broadest possible market, they will not risk being associated with something that might disturb some fraction of the population.

Recognition of the breadth of interest and support is an important step in bringing the information to the interested — and potentially interested.

Bob Buddemeier

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you for writing and sharing this story.  I’m glad Daphne was able to die in the way she chose. Always a smart lady.

 

Thank you for “One Life’s End”.  My wife and I started our new life here at the Manor on xxxx, 2020.  We will be participating in DWD when the time comes.

 

A million thanks for bravely writing the article about Daphne’s departure.  We have been staunch supporters of Death with Dignity since we watched Xxxx use it with such ease and, yes, dignity; but we have since seen so many people shy away from any conversation about the process.  Your article is a huge step forward in letting people know what really happens and how it is not something to be feared or a topic to be avoided.  Again, many thanks.

 

Thank you for sharing such a personal, touching and oddly comforting experience.

 

THANK YOU for your wonderful, thoughtful Essay.  I did not attach a public comment — but I wanted you to know how much I am in agreement with all your ideas/attitudes, (and have been since my 40’s).  I also think it is so helpful that you bring it (possibly) to the attention of the broader RVM community.  When we first moved here 11 years ago, RVM administration types would not engage in ANY discussion of such, even though it was the law of the land — happily, they are gradually coming around….

 

Bob and Joni, thank you for sharing Daphne’s view on life and death.  I’m with you, Daphne, and you’re still with us!

 

I just read your article on Daphne.  So nicely written.  Thank you for sharing that.

 

Your article about Daphne in The Complement was powerful and moving.  Thank you for writing it and sharing it.

 

What a remarkable tribute to a remarkable woman.  You and your wife have given the rest of us a clear-eyed, courageous view of what we all must face.  Death with dignity, indeed.  Thank you,

 

Thanks for your well written piece on Daphne and DWD.  What you wrote resonated with me.  I give you and yours high marks for being better prepared with a support system than Xxxx and I were.

 

Xxxxx and I read the article.  Very well done!!  I cried the first time and I cried the second time. How incredible to be surrounded with so much love and support those final moments!!  Thank you for sharing.

 

Thank you so much for this reassuring and inspiring piece about Daphne and how she (and your family) handled the process/progress of death with dignity.  Death seems (to me) to be something of a 4-letter word here at RVM. No one seems to want to register that it is happening except with a photo in a wall display case when it’s all over.  I needed a role model for when my time comes and I don’t think I could do much better than Daphne.

 

I do wish to thank you for your generosity and openness to write and share.  My mother lived for 15 years with advancing dementia, and I don’t believe she would have appreciated her final years.  I do wish the laws would allow death with dignity not just for terminal patients but for those who do not wish to have a decline of increased dependency and loss of cognition.  Your comment about how we deal with the death of our friends here is mostly upon us.  However, when a precious friend here died last October, I was so gratified that YANA recognized that close friends suffer a deep sense of loss, sending a card and flowers to her friends.  Daphne was special and brave.  As are you.

 

I appreciated so much your piece in the Complement describing Daphne’s journey. In my personal experience, almost never has someone been so open about revealing such intimate details about a loved one’s death. Thank you. Daphne affected my life in special and positive ways, one of them being so open herself.

Book Review: Gods of the Upper Air

Gods of the Upper Air: How a Circle of Renegade Anthropologists
Reinvented Race, Sex, and Gender in the Twentieth Century,
by Charles King (Doubleday, 2019)

Reviewed by Anne Newins

Anne Newins

Many of us may remember a class that changed our world view.  In my case, it was a cultural anthropology class taken during my freshman year of college. Even though I was raised in a highly diverse environment, I had not thought about how much behavior and values were dependent on one’s culture. In four short months, I became much more tolerant and accepting of others’ viewpoints.

Gods of the Upper Air allowed me to revisit those heady days. Charles King, a professor of international affairs and government at Georgetown University, has taken a thought-provoking side trip. King’s absorbing account is about the development of cultural anthropology as an academic discipline, but it also is part adventure story and part biography. The book profiles the father of cultural anthropology, Franz Boas, and a number of his protégées, including Ruth Benedict, Margaret Mead, Zora Neale Hurston, and Ella Cara Deloria.

Since the field examines cultural variation among humans, cultural anthropology often  relies on fieldwork that take place in far flung locations. The researchers must develop productive working relationships with their study subjects, while trying to decide if what they are learning from their informants is accurate or highly subjective. Obviously, this is not easy to do and takes enormous time, patience, and strong observational skills.

These lively and energetic scholars often had to cope with personal poverty, disease and danger during their fieldwork. They were confronting historical opinions that were racist, sexist, and frequently unaccepting of women in academia. Among others, of their major adversaries was Madison Grant, a well-known eugenicist of the time.

Most have heard of Margaret Mead and her groundbreaking work in American Samoa and New Guinea. Ruth Benedict was a lover, and most importantly, her mentor at
Columbia University. African American Zora Neale Hurston is famous for fiction writing, but was noted for her work about American folklore. Ella Cara Deloria, of Dakota Indian descent and linguistically fluent, conducted complex work about the Sioux.

Reviewer Anthony Clemons describes the book as “creative storytelling with rich historical detail to show the reader that facts contradicting established norms rarely outmatch the willingness of the masses to cling to those norms, leaving the potential for ideological change to the tyranny of time.”

A copy of the book may be found at the Rogue Manor Library.

Big, Borrowed, or Both — May

Sometimes we come across interesting things that have been produced elsewhere or don’t quite fit in our format.  Why should that stop us?

 

Susan Ball keeps us up to date on RVM-relevant happenings appearing in the external press.  She recently circulated an interesting piece on the position of CCRCs in the rapidly changing retirement industry:  Entry-Fee CCRC Model Seen as Less “Endangered” than Before Pandemic  

 

3550: The online quarterly magazine of the Portland Mirabella (also a PRS CCRC facility), it is an open internet publication.

 

The Mirabella Monthly newsletter of the Seattle Mirabella is available in PDF format by (free) subscription: email jaredcurtis@icloud.com   To download the May issue, Click here

Book Review: How to Avoid Climate Disaster

How to Avoid a Climate Disaster – The Solutions We Have and The Breakthroughs We Need

By Bill Gates, Reviewed by Sally Densmore

Sally Densmore

Bill Gates and his wife Melinda are best known for their work through their Foundation to rid the third world of devasting diseases like malaria. Through that work, he realized that these low-income peoples were also the most vulnerable to the perils of climate change. Being a scientist, he decided to inform himself of the facts and the possible solutions. And that’s what he has laid out in this very readable book.

I have been a conservationist and recycler for years, and have had a Prius since 2006, so I didn’t need to be persuaded of the need to deal with this crisis. This book, however, has convinced me that we can’t really keep nibbling around the edges. Bold action is needed now. And I’ve learned things I’ve never heard anyone else discuss.

There is so much talk about the need for all of us to start driving electric vehicles, but very little about the fact that two-thirds of our electricity comes from fossil fuels. The biggest surprise was the fact that 31% of our CO2 emissions comes from the manufacture of concrete, steel and plastics.

First he delineates the causes of greenhouse gases: how we plug in, how we make things, how we grow things, how we get around and how we keep cool and stay warm. Then he discusses how we will have to use innovative research to adapt to a warmer climate. The first page states:

Fifty-one billion is how many tons of greenhouse gases the world typically

adds to the atmosphere every year. . . . This is where we are today. Zero

is what we need to aim for. . . .This sounds difficult, because it will be.

In order to get to zero by 2050, we’ll have to have tough governmental policies in place by 2030.

Gates doesn’t pretend to be the perfect spokesman, guiltily confessing that he is a rich man who has an enormous carbon footprint (he now buys sustainable jet fuel). I really appreciate the easy, conversational tone he uses in the book, giving excellent examples of the scientific concepts involved. I highly recommend this.

What’s New in May

NEWS & VIEWS

The Manor Mart is Open!, by Connie Kent
      -Shop until you drop!

Surviving Surviving, by Joni Johnson
      -On surviving sudden loss 

The First Step by Bob Buddemeier
     -RVM Volunteers Step Up

Confusion Over Freeway Offramp Construction, by Connie Kent
      -a collection of posts on the RVM List 

“One Life’s End” Comments, by Bob Buddemeier
     -Readers’ reactions to the story of Daphne’s Death with Dignity

         in Big, Borrowed, or Both

Entry Fee CCRCs Endangered?
     -an article circulated on RVM List by Susan Ball

3550:  the Portland Mirabella quarterly magazine (most recent issue)

Mirabella Monthly, Newsletter of the Seattle Mirabella (most recent issue)

ARTS & INFO 

RVM Spring Birdsa photo collage by Reina Lopez

More Six-Word Novels
     –a collection of responses to Eleanor Lippman’s Covid challenge

Still More Words at Play, by Tom Conger

RVM May-July Event & Entertainment Schedule

May Library Display, by Anne Newins

How To Avoid Climate Disaster — (Book Review), by Sally Densmore

Gods of the Upper Air — (Book Review), by Anne Newins

PREPARE

The “Design-a-Kit” Game, by Bob Buddemeier
      -a challenge for fans of preparedness

Status and guidance, by Bob Buddemeier & the RPG team
      -the latest milestones and plans for RPG

Quake Alert Update!

UPDATE — IMPORTANT REQUEST

The article below describes the ShakeAlert earthquake warning system that will be activated in Oregon on March 11.  It also mentions that some cell phones will be able to receive the warning signals, and that there are apps that can be downloaded for the other cellphones.

We want to encourage any interested residents to try out the system and/or apps, and report on their experiences.  We will summarize the reports and publish an article in the next issue, it hope of making it easier for people to take advantage of the potential warnings.

If someone is willing to take this on as a project, we would be delighted to have a completed article submitted, but we will assemble individual reports or conduct interviews as needed.

If you will definitely try the experiment, please let us know in advance: email  openinforvm@gmail.com

 

THIRTY SECONDS

You have 30 seconds.  What can you do?

Driving?  You could pull off the road, stop, and set the brake.

At home?  You could walk across the room, get down on the floor, and crawl under the table.

Why those things?  Because you know an earthquake is about to hit.  How can you know that?

As of 10 a.m. on March 11, 2021, Oregon will be part of the ShakeAlert system (https://www.shakealert.org/).  This is a warning system designed to give vitally important warnings shortly (less than a minute) before serious earthquake damage occurs.  In a Zoom presentation on February 10, Eric Dittmer (SOU Professor emeritus, who gave an earthquake preparedness lecture at RVM in October 2020) and Terri Stewart (Coordinator for Ashland CERT – Community Emergency Response Team) provided information on the ShakeAlert rollout.

A few tens of seconds before the dangerous shaking starts is time for a lot of important things to happen if governments and organizations are properly equipped.  The signals can be used to automatically activate warnings and protective measures.  Firehouse doors open before the power goes off.  Locations with water storage, like RVM, can be fitted with electrically operated valves that close to prevent water loss from broken pipes. Elevators can stop at the nearest floor and open the doors.

Individuals can have access to those signals too  — signals can be received by some cellphones now, and there is an existing app – QuakealertUSA.  Capabilities and apps are expected to increase in the future. In response to questions following the presentation, Eric Dittmer said  “I think newer Androids will automatically receive alerts after March 11.  All phones will receive QuakeAlertUSA  — if you sign up (URLs at end of article).  Apple is negotiating with USGS to incorporate ShakeAlert function in new designs.”

The figure below illustrates the basic operation of ShakeAlert

 

How does it work?  Very quickly!  When a fault ruptures, the released energy travels away from the source in two different ways.  One is a p (pressure) wave, that travels through the earth as a fairly gentle ripple.  It travels slightly faster, but does much less damage, than the s (shear) wave that follows.  Both are much slower than the speed of radio waves or electrical signals.

This means that if you detect the p-wave motion of an earthquake and very quickly radio a warning to a friend farther away, your friend will have a small but important amount of time to take action have.  That’s what ShakeAlert does in an automatic, technically sophisticated way. A network of sensitive detectors detects ground motion and instantly broadcasts warning signals.

In addition to the ShakeAlert website (https://www.shakealert.org/), other information resources include:

QuakeAlertUSA Android:; https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ewl.quakealert&hl=en_US&gl=US

QuakeAlertUSA Apple:  https://apps.apple.com/us/app/quakealertusa/id961670831

5 minute video describing ShakeAlert: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWl3m4OyU44

Toast, tsunamis and the really big one — TedTalk, Dr Chris Goldfinger, OSU — nontechnical, informal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy5a2P3zXl4 (14 minutes)

“3 types of Earthquakes” (in the Pacific NW)  https://youtu.be/_belQwGNolY  educational/technical video (8 minutes)