NIT WIT NEWZ — January 2025

(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, on-line news service designed to keep residents abreast of the inconsequential, unverified, and trifling events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor).

 NEW YEARS NEWZ AT MANOR

MAJOR SPLASHDOWN

Dozens of swimwear-clad residents lined pool area anxiously awaiting re-opening of Manor aquatic center. Sought relief from months-long deprivation of hydro-pleasure. Some felt absence challenged mental and physical well being. Found Wellness Department recommendation of multi-daily dips in bathtub inadequate substitution for full pool immersion. Panoply of moistened frolics resuming.

PRESUME NOTHING

Out of the hundreds of worldwide chair manufacturers, Rogue Valley Manor had misfortune to select the one that had not yet mastered the mechanics of the wheel. At Manor’s urging, company struggling to play “catch-up” on legacy technology.

SOUND ADVICE

Your friends at Nit Wit Newz wish to remind you to break your New Year’s resolutions early so that you can enjoy the remainder of the year.

—A. Looney