NIT WIT NEWZ — December 2024

 (Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, unreliable, on-line news service designed to keep residents abreast of the inconsequential, unverified, and trifling events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor.)

THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF JACK AND PETER

(The Fable Continues)

To our readers: You will recall that in our last episode, Jack and Peter had met in Peter’s well-tended quarters conveniently located just below Mr. McGregor’s carrot patch in the Manor’s Residents’ Garden.  They had devised a plan to call residents’ attention to the unseemly blue and white banners that had been raised on a number of light poles on the Rogue Valley Manor campus.  Now, several weeks later, Jack is revisiting Peter. Let’s listen in:

(Peter Rabbit): Hey, Jack, returning to sample some of McGregor’s finest? Here, indulge the universal rabbit habit.

(Jack Rabbit): Not a bad idea, Peter, I guess I’m sorta like that Oscar Wilde guy, I can resist anything but temptation. Thanks, hmm, yep, this is good. But listen, old pal, I dropped in to bring you news.

(P.R.):  Oh, yeah, lay it on me

(J.R.): Well, all those blue and white banners on the light poles that say “Rogue Valley Manor,” they’re down.

(P.R.) I knew it! That powerful, hard hitting piece that we ran in The Complement’s Nit Wit Newz feature a few weeks back convinced the residents that those goofy banners were an eyesore. I can’t wait to tell Bunny. Remember? She got that piece placed in The Complement. 

(J.R.): Hold on Peter, I’m afraid you’ll have to curb your enthusiasm.

(P.R.): What are you talking about?  Down banners are exactly what we wanted, right?

(J.R.): Well, here’s what happened. That wind storm we had in mid-November wreaked havoc with those signs. It blew some banners right out of their frames, others were blown cockamamie crooked. It was a mess.  Among their many other shortcomings, those flimsy banners didn’t hold up to even the very first storm of the season.  So they took them all down.

(P.R.): Why do we care how they got taken down?  I say, mission accomplished. Job done.

(J.R.):  Here’s the problem, the metal frames that hold the banners are still up. They’d only leave the frames up if they planned on using them again—like next spring when the weather calms down.

(P.R.): Hmm, I see where you’re going.  Looks like we’ve still got work to do.

(J.R.): Yep, but what still puzzles me is why they put those things up in the first place. Certainly not for beauty. Fact is, they detract from the natural beauty of that magnificent scene of our campus as you drive into this place.  They couldn’t have put those banners up for utility purposes. Visitors and residents don’t need to be reminded where they are every thirty seconds as they travel through our campus. Whatever the reason, they’re an unnecessary blight that sullies our campus.

(P.R.) Hmm, seems as if your hare shirt might be a bit too snug today, Jack

(J.R.): Yeah, you’re right.  I’m miffed. Like you, when I saw the banners gone, I got pretty excited. But now, we’re plunked right back down to ground zero.

(P.R.) I suppose so, but how do you know that our piece in Nit Wit Newz didn’t generate some resident opinion to see things our way?

(J.R.): Well, I saw the minutes of the Landscape and Grounds Advisory Committee meeting, which was a few weeks before the wind storm, and apparently the question was raised about the reaction they’re getting on the banners.  The response was, it was, “mixed.”

(P.R.): Hmm, “mixed,” that’s the sound of the roaring wheels of inertia grinding to a halt.  The next sentence, unstated, of course, would be written, “No action need be taken.”

(J.R.): Well, I must say, there were comments from two different residents at the bottom of our Nit Wit Newz piece under “Leave a Reply.” Both were supportive of our anti-banner position. And you can add to that, a The Complement staffer reported that she received an unsolicited  supportive comment from another reader.  Sadly, darn few movements are mounted on the backs of a mere three protesters.

(P.R.) Make that six, add in the two of us and my sweetie, Bunny.

(J.R.): I’m not sure the rabbit vote will help sway the committee, Peter. In any event, three, six—it still amounts to less than a limp ripple in a sea of apathy. We need a tidal wave to get the attention of that Landscape Committee. Heck, maybe we’re just a couple of wild hares hollering down—I dunno— a rabbit hole..

(P.R.): Gosh, only three responses, hey, maybe the residents have eyes but seeith not?.

(J.R.): No, they see fine, wait…seeith not? Where did you come up with that, scripture? Shakespeare?

(P.R.): Milton.

(J.R.): Milton? You’ve been reading Paradise Lost?

(P.R.): No, no, I got it from my neighbor, Milton, Milton Thumper, he lives two holes down.  Milton talks funny.  I think it’s olde English

(J.R.): I see.

(P.R.): But consider this, Jack, I read somewhere that for every person that writes in a comment on matters like this, there are ten or so that may also agree with the proposition, but don’t bother to take the time to make themselves heard.

(J.R.): Yeah, maybe so, but we need concrete evidence to convince that Landscape Committee.

(P.R.): You’re probably right.  So, I’ve got an idea: Look, those three comments we received supporting our position were unsolicited, right?  But those residents voluntarily made their voices heard without anyone asking them to do so. What if we asked the readers of this very Nit Wit Newz article that they are reading at this moment, to let us know, one way or the other, if the banners should stay or go.  All they need do is write either, “Banners Down” or “Banners Up” in the “Leave a reply” section just below. It’s that simple.

(J.R.):  That, my friend, is an excellent idea. Wow! I knew I could count on you, Peter.

(P.R.): Glad you liked it, J.R.  I propose a toast to our renewed effort to resurrect a worthy enterprise.

(J.R.): Indeed! What are we drinking?

(P.R.): (The sound of a popping cork) A liqueur of distinction,  Creme de Carotte, Bottoms up, cottontail.

(J.R.): Carotte?

(P.R.): That’s carrot in French.

(J.R.): Of course.

—————–

To our readers: Jack and Peter invite your thought on the banner issue. “Banners Down” or “Banners Up,” let them know below. They thank you.

—A. Looney