Nit Wit Newz — July, 2024

NIT WIT NEWZ

(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, unreliable, on-line news service designed to keep residents abreast of the inconsequential, unverified, and trifling events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor).  

SHOCK WAVES GRIP MEDFORD SENIOR COMMUNITY

Legislators Take Aim at Beloved Social Media Site

Rogue Valley Manor, northwest’s premiere CCRC, becomes target of state of Oregon probe. State claims senior community’s on-site social media website, RVMlist, could prove harmful to well-being of aging residents.

Long simmering nationwide concern over youth addiction to social media sites (TikTok, Meta/Facebook, Instagram, et al.) raises specter of possible injurious effects on the elderly as well, legislators fear.  They have no concern that aforementioned youth sites play part in senior viewing, but rather, lawmakers uneasy that unusually long periods of time huddled over electronic devices are not healthy for those “getting along in years.”

State legislature in Salem sends three-man delegation to Rogue Valley Manor to determine if senior “protective” legislation is indicated.

Preliminary reports suggested that large share of elders’ computer time at the Medford CCRC is spent viewing and posting at members-only social media site, RVMlist.

The site became investigation’s focus. Claim: it may be an anti-social medium.

As word filtered through campus of state government’s imminent “intrusive” investigation of beloved RVMlist, resident hackles rose, high anxiety swelled.

Vigorous “Hands off” protests mounted.

State delegation ignores demonstrations. Proceeds undeterred.

Probe lasts five days. Includes intensive monitoring of website in question, extensive interviews with Manor administration, residents and staff.

Delegation left campus on fifth night.  Next day, copy of findings directed to fellow Salem legislators discovered left behind in Manor guest suite they occupied.

Highlights from draft follow:

I. RVMlist serves as a community sounding board. Residents post grievances, iron out policy differences large and small.  In past year, site credited with hammering out acceptable manor restaurant dress code; trashing an ill-begotten campus trolley system; reforming an overly-austere meal point system.

II. RVMlist serves as a community bulletin board.  Typical content includes a wide range of interests on matters of everyday consequence. Many postings, it’s worth noting, reflect a decided “young-at-heart” bent of residents. Examples:

–”Found: New set of eight-piece nose and lip rings at dog park. Redeem at Manor desk.”

–”Foodies, treat yourselves to El Fuji, new Mexican/Japanese fusion restaurant, for their elegant ‘Burrito Sushi.’”

–”Need just three more heavy metal fans to secure Manor bus transportation to “Nine Inch Nails” concert  Saturday night at Eagle Point”

–”Singles! Best app for meeting that special senior, ‘Dating — It’s Never Too Late.’ Check it out.”

III. No harmful, hours-long, screen-staring addiction noted. Site promotes resident participation in vigorous outdoor activities, cerebral indoor activities, all in congenial social settings.

IV. Point of concern: One possible elder health issue detected: Site is repository of endless lame jokes. Long term, continued exposure could prove injurious to mental well-being.

Summary:  Our legislative probe misguided.  Investigation was in search of a non-existent problem. Clearly, social media site in question serves as connective tissue for a well functioning, healthy senior community. Bears close resemblance to 18th century American village town hall meetings where problems freely aired, then resolved by citizenry. Sole difference, no in-person town hall meeting needed here—tight community coherence is all virtual—but very real.

Afterthought: The Rogue Valley Manor “village” is a smooth functioning, democratic group of 900 citizens. The RVMlist plays an essential role in its success. By contrast, our two-bodied Oregon State legislature of just 90 members is polarized, sometimes rancorous, and often ineffective. Our legislature is without a counterpart to a RVMlist site.  Is there a lesson here for us?

Delegation recommendation:

No action should be taken to alter or dismantle the RVMlist.

As news broke, wave of unmodified bliss swept over campus.

RVMlist LIVES!

Disencumbered residents now return to resolving knotty issue of how much salt should be added to Kalua pork.

—A. Looney