NIT WIT NEWZ: June 2024

(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, unreliable, on-line news service designed to keep residents abreast of the inconsequential, unverified, and trifling events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor).

RUSH ANTICIPATED FOR NEW MANOR VACATION SPOTS

It’s now June and if you’ve not yet firmed up your summer vacation plans, fret not.

It’s not too late.

Avoid those far away, tedious auto drives; forget those lengthy, clothing-removing TSA lines that end in a cramped, knees-under-the chin airline seat; shun those sometimes sickness-ridden cruise ships.

Your vacation can be a mere Manor Express ride away.

This year for the first time, reservations are being taken for beach space at our very own shimmering lake right here on the east side of the Manor campus.

There you’ll find new, lovely lake-front camping sites that put you and your bare toes at our scenic lake’s shoreline.

Relax to the hypnotic sound of rushing water gently cascading over smooth rocks.  You’ll see a mother duck effortlessly gliding over calm waters shadowed by her paddling brood of all-in-a-row ducklings. Drop your fishing line off the bridge spanning the generously stocked koi and goldfish waters.

Lake-side living is good.

All you need bring is a small tent, sleeping bag, sun umbrella, folding chair, fishing pole, portable barbecue and your latest Speedo-fashioned swimwear.

Single plots measure a roomy 10’ x 12,’ ;  doubles an expansive 15’ x 15’.   The price?  Singles $9.95/night; doubles $14.95/night.

Cash strapped?  This just in!  You can use your food plan points for your rental site!  This exciting, new Rogue Valley Manor revenue stream is designed to be as wallet-friendly as possible to all Manor residents.

The natives are friendly.  Although they—the permanent residents in cottages surrounding the lake— have understandably, registered some concern about camp sites being pitched between their patios and the lake.  But they, being your fellow Manor neighbors, are nothing if not neighborly. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself invited to sip a convivial Margarita on one of those well-tended patios not too long after you first pitch your tent.

It must be remembered, however, that neighborliness is a two-way street.  To that end, you are asked to place your refuse in one of the five, large yellow dumpsters that have been conveniently placed around the lake’s perimeter.  Be sure to reduce the volume of your boombox radios after 10 pm. And try to contain the smoke from your beach fish fry so it doesn’t drift into the surrounding cottages.

The great outdoors beckons.  Free yourself from our dreary digital world.  Re-awaken your nature-embracing, primordial self.  The call of the wild awaits you.

But hurry, spaces are limited.

Secure your beach site today!

—A. Looney