Why English is Hard to Learn

contributed by Connie Kent

We’ll start with box; the plural is boxes.

Yet the plural of ox is oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose is never called meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a house full of mice;

But the plural of house is houses, not hice.

The plural of man is always men,

But the plural of pan is never pen.

If I speak of a foot, and you show me two feet,

And I give you a book, would a pair be a beek?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn’t two booths be called beeth?

If the singular’s this and the plural is these,

Shouldn’t the plural of kiss be ever called keese?

We speak of brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him;

But imagine the feminine . . . she, shis, and shim!

~ Anonymous