New Era Dawns at RVM!

A note to the readers: The material that follows is SATIRE, bordering occasionally on PARODY.  If you find yourself taking it seriously, it may be time to step up another rung or two on the Continuous Care ladder

The virtual ink was barely dry on the video presentation of the Strategic Plan when the projected pieces started to materialize and fall into place.

The first enabling breakthrough occurred when the Technical Committee produced a report on Artificial Intelligence, which for financial reasons led promptly to the replacement of the PRS Legal Department with a subscription to SuMe, the eLegal Bot.  This resulted in the ability to produce policies, contracts, and cautionary statements with a speed approaching that of light – noticeably faster than the previous system.  Furthermore, SuMe is infinitely patient about being sent back to try again until he/she/they/it come(s) up with a workable document.

These legal decision-making characteristics proved crucial in the first substantive leap forward, which addressed initiatives 1, 3, 7, 9, 11, and 13 (click here to review content).  It was also the most challenging of the recent developments, as it involved the inquiry from ONO (Organization of Nude Octagenarians) about the possibility of establishing a compact clothing-free sub-community within the larger RVM Community.  RVM Administration, sensitive to the opportunity for fleshing out Manor occupancy, conducted a survey among the residents on the emptier floors, and discovered that by offering significant incentives to current residents, a clothing-free zone could be established.

After detailed negotiations with ONO about lobby limitations and pool session scheduling, the final agreement came down to issues involving the Dress Code.
Anticipating difficult negotiations, the Residents Council Executive Board established a Special Committee, Review of Dress (SCROD).  In addition to dealing with the immediate issue, this decision produced a highly visible body which made it possible to tell any resident complaining about the dress code to go get SCROD.

To the surprise of many, the Committee was receptive to ONO’s proposal, based on their assurance that members would never wear dirty jeans, shorts, hats, pajamas, or swim or workout garb.  The minor sticking point involved collars, considered essential by some. A compromise was reached by drawing on experience with masks during the pandemic.  A box of disposable collars would be put at the entry to each dining venue, and ONOs would be encouraged to wear them while dining, in support of the psychological wellness of other residents.

Buoyed by this success, the Administration was more than ready to rise to the next opportunity.  The presence of some aging but still mobile motorcyclists on campus resulted in a request by a local club to set up an arrangement similar to the ONO contract.  This proved simpler.  SCROD agreed to tolerate an occasional helmet as long as the leathers had collars and full length legs, and the administration agreed to cut wheel-width groves in both sides of each speed bump.  In turn, the bikers agreed to change their name to “SSMC” and remove all “Satan’s Seniors Motorcycle Club” patches.

Some concerns arose among cottage dwellers about possible was allayed when an RVM administrator pointed out that residents who rode cycles exhaust noise, but this would help alleviate the parking problem at the very minor cost of some restriping.  Residual concerns about the additional space requirements when old bikers transition to tricycles will be addressed as we gain experience with the new arrangements.

Although these developments of community relations alleviated much of the Manor occupancy problem, the win-win aspect of the SSMC agreement alerted the Administration to the possibility of resident organizations solving some of RVM’s ongoing problems.

Thus, when RVM was approached by representatives of COW (Council of Wicca), agreement was virtually assured when it was learned that many of the COWs’ sacred ceremonies involved the copious use of turkey entrails.  Since modern Wiccans seldom wear tall pointy hats, and both brooms and roombas (for the less robust members) can be accommodated by the Dining Services walker parking protocol, SCROD had no concerns.  The clinching agreement was provided when RVM provided assurances that the open area below the MSC would be available for the COWs to dance widdershins around a large bonfire during periods of low fire danger.

With these increases in fiscal stability and community diversity achieved, both the RVM Administration and the Residents Council look forward with optimism to a bright future for all.