Nit Wit Newz — March 2023

(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, often unreliable, on-line news source designed to keep Manor residents abreast of the inconsequential, trifling, and superficial events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor.)

                                               TREE TRUNK TRIGGERS TROUBLE

                        Woodpecker Haven Savaged, Salvaged, and Squabbled Over

Bird’s favorite campus drilling tree endangered!  Disease-ridden thirty-five foot birch outside of Manor library sheared of branch and leaf several weeks ago, writes Nit Wit Newz’ Nature reporter, Anne Arbor.  Only bare trunk and three wispy limbs atop escape saw’s “cruel blade.”

Last minute intervention by local Birder group credited for halting total “chain saw massacre.”  Towering trunk spared.

Birds joyful at trunk survival. Return to site.  Loss of limbs and leaves of little consequence to their well-being.  Trunk alone provides that purpose—serves as 24-hour, fast-food insect eatery as well as a nut-laden storage locker for future woodpecker feasts.

Pecking order promptly restored at tree trunk. Bliss returns to birdland.

Not so with three campus environmental groups.

Years of near-perfect harmony between arborists, birders, and tree-huggers splintered.

Plight of what remains of “ungainly, pock-marked totem” stokes contention among these groups.

Arborists aghast. Avert eyes from abused, disfigured remains of once handsome specimen. Urge prompt and merciful end for distressed tree.

Birders delight in hearing resumption of melodious, rat-a-tat-tat anthem from tree signaling, “all is well” in woodpecker world. Birders gleeful response: “Drill Baby, Drill.”

Tree-huggers are conflicted.  Allow that limb-less, birch trunk does facilitate their frequent tree-embracing sessions, but harbor concerns for long-term health of denuded tree.  Favor reaching out for second opinion from a skilled tree surgeon before resorting to harsh, irrevocable treatment.

Woodpeckers oblivious to testy, three-party squabble.  Busy selves with joyously wrenching out tasty edibles tucked in tender birch tree bark.  They are—Birds in Paradise.

Will paradise be lost?

We shall see.

—A. Looney