Nit Wit Newz — January 2023

                                                NEWZ’S BURNING ISSUE FIZZLES

(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, often unreliable, on-line news source designed to keep Manor residents abreast of the inconsequential, trifling and superficial events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives at Rogue Valley Manor).

Close readers of Nit Wit Newz will recall in last month’s December issue of The Complement, our column featured a letter from resident, Holly Day. Ms. Day passionately—and we thought persuasively— advocated the conversion of the Manor fireplace from the unseemly, year-long, roasting of marbles to the more traditional fireplace use—burning logs (be they real or facsimiles), at least during the holiday season.

Nit Wit Newz enthusiastically endorsed Ms. Day’s view. We too, thought that the odd marble roasting display made little sense aesthetically or practically.

In an effort to confront the proper administration and resident authorities with compelling evidence that Manor residents also support such a change, NWN confidently solicited the views of RVM residents’ on this fireplace issue. They were asked to vote “yes” (agreeing with Ms. Day on a change) or “No” (voting for the status quo on the marble-simmering fireplace).

As the early votes began to cascade into our massive Dominion vote-tabulating computer, it became clear that we were not only facing a record-setting volume of voting, there was a strong trend indicating that residents were disinterested in converting the Manor fireplace to log burning.

Disbelief swept over our NWN staff.  A laborious, hand-tabulation of ballots was ordered.  Shockingly, the alarming trend was confirmed. The re-count tabulation of all seven ballots cast revealed a scant 14.3% of voters (that would be just one vote) endorsed the “Holly Day/NWN” fireplace revision initiative.

Yes, the full-throated advocacy of the fireplace revision by Nit Wit Newz was met with an enthusiastic burst of resident indifference.

Comments among the six voters that were just fine with the marble-laden fireplace ranged from:  not worth the cost to change to logs; the real Manor lobby problem was not the fireplace, but that (oft-maligned) carpeting; there should be seating in front of those glowing marbles; to, if you want a log burning fireplace go to the Manor library.

Vox populi! The people have spoken.

Clearly, RVM residents are content each year to continue dreaming of their “Blue Marble Christmas.”

What also became all-too-clear was—Nit Wit Newz’s well-earned reputation as an essential conduit between Manor residents and the power centers of Rogue Valley Manor had now been placed in jeopardy.

No small amount of wound licking followed in the well-decked halls of the Nit Wit Newz Tower.

Bruised but unbowed, our chastened staff found comfort during the holidays huddled around the Manor library’s log fireplace musing over Lily Tomlin’s observation:

“The road to success is always under construction.”

We have chosen to view the failed Manor fireplace initiative as just another pot hole in our continuing efforts to help Rogue Valley Manor realize its full potential as America’s premier Senior Community.

We soldier on.

A Happy New Year to all.

—A. Looney