Minding Your Manor Manners (sort of)

  NIT WIT NEWZ

(Nit Wit Newz is an unauthorized, often unreliable, on-line news source designed to keep Manor residents abreast of the inconsequential, unverified and trifling events that dramatically shape and inform our everyday lives here at Rogue Valley Manor)

                                    MINDING YOUR MANOR MANNERS (sort of)

Residents pose questions and concerns regarding Rogue Valley Manor living to Nit Wit Newz. When these issues are deemed of interest to our community, they are printed in this space.

This month, a reader wrote:

                Dear Nit Wit Newz,

Although our Bistro is temporarily closed, I have this on-going question: Is there anything that can be done about the Bistro’s dinnerware? The irregular shapes of the bowls and the plates with their wing-like edges make it difficult to balance utensils on the bowl or plate edges when not in use. The utensils either clank nosily to the table or worse, slip into my Meatball Marinara or my Roasted Beet Salad. That, of course, necessitates repeatedly wiping the utensil handles with my napkin before proceeding with my meal.  When finished, my hands are sticky, the napkin is a mess, and my clothes are ready for the cleaners.  Help!

I.M. Peeved

Dear Mr. Peeved,

Nit Wit Newz has looked into your issue with the Bistro dinnerware. Our findings:

–The dinnerware was replicated from the remnants of ancient pottery excavated from a post-Ice Age archeological dig in what is now Denmark.

–Contemporary Danish artisans have pieced together bowls and plates which revealed this distinctive wing-cornered design.

–Archeologists speculate that the pottery pre-dated the use of utensils and the unusual design enabled the early inhabitants to easily hold and raise the dish to their mouths.

–Inspired by this uniqueness, modern artisans have fashioned a line of dinnerware. That is the line used in the Bistro today. It’s called Danish Antiquity.

–It is unclear to archeologists whether or not finger bowls were to be found in the pantries of this ancient, post-Ice Age settlement. Nonetheless, we are pleased to report that finger bowls are included in the Bistro collection.

–Upon the re-opening of the restaurant, you—and other residents beset by this “sticky finger” grievance— may ask your wait-staff person to provide a Danish Antiquity finger bowl.

— To those who may find the use of finger bowls unsettlingly fastidious, another option is available:  Bistro management invites you and your tablemates to indulge your latent impulses. Use the dinnerware as it was originally intended. Set aside fork, spoon, knife and superficial inhibitions. Grasp your bowl or plate as it was designed to be held and boldly raise it to your lips—SKOL!

–With that, Mr. Peeved, we hope NWN’s research has provided you with a new-found appreciation of the Bistro’s dinnerware.

Your friends at Nit Wit Newz.

 —A. Looney