Why the Fake Quake?

by Bob Buddemeier

On October 21, at 10:21 a.m., some of us joined in the Great Shakeout event – an imaginary earthquake, for which we were supposed to take appropriate action (Drop, Cover, and Hold is the relevant  slogan).  I happened to be in the deep end of the pool, for which I had encountered no instructions.  I settled for hanging on tightly to the ladder rails.  I had a good view of the gym, and I did not see anybody drop to the floor and crawl under the treadmill, or any of the other appliances.

I rather suspect that overall participation was underwhelming.  In part that can be ascribed to current conditions – it’s still COVID season, RVM staffing issues, etc.  Jens Larsen put out a reminder memo and we ran some notices on Channel 900, but we didn’t come anywhere close to the kind of “light ‘em up” festivity that Sarah Karnatz is known for.  She has to be on the recruitment list for next year.

But what’s the point?  Why should we even think about 10:21 a.m. much less get down on the floor and crawl under a table?   And then, as Teddie Hight pointed out, try to figure out how to get up again.

Well, the first part of why is because you might need to.  In case you haven’t heard, or don’t remember, we live in the region that will be affected by a Cascadia Subduction Zone earthquake.  Not might, WILL.  And what is a CSZ earthquake?  It’s BIG.  Like 9.0 at the epicenter and maybe 7 by the time it gets to Medford.  This is not your California 7, however – those have durations measured in seconds.  Up here, the CSZ goes on for minutes  — lots of shaking time for things to come unglued.

Now, it is true that we may all die of something else before the CSZ produces a 9.0, but if not, it’s reassuring to think that you can do something to keep from being crushed into a pulpy mess.  And if asked what that is, you might think for a moment and then say “Drop, Cover and Hold.”  The trouble is, it’s that moment that’s going to get you.  You need to be headed under the table at the fist wiggle, not after a period of intellectual reflection on the appropriate course of action.

And, few if any people can take that kind of immediate action without practice, or at least frequent visualization.  Remember the first time you let out a clutch in Driver’s Ed class?  A lot of hesitation, followed by slow action, followed by an abrupt jerk.  Equivalent to hitting your head on the leg after being too slow to get under the table.  Or the first dive into the pool?  Rocking back and forth and flexing your leg muscles on the edge before getting the inevitable nose full of water?  After doing those things a number of times, you got pretty good.

The problem is that we don’t get a lot of practice quakes to warm up on.  So fake it.  By now you should be feeling remorse for having failed to practice when the rest of the world did.  You can make up for it – make a deal with your partner or a friend to just say “Earthquake!” occasionally.  And practice your response.  There’s something you are supposed to do even if you can’t drop, cover, and hold.  Find out.  Or teach Alexa to say “earthquake” instead of “boodle-dee-oodledy-boodle.”

So, see you at the Great Shakeout next year.  Unless the Big One comes first and you haven’t practiced.