Life’s End Comments
Comments received regarding “One Life’s End”
(author identifications removed)
Why Share These?
As Daphne and I went through the process described we discovered that there was much more interest than information in the RVM community. Improving that situation is up to the residents — Death with Dignity and related subjects are “controversial,” and since PRS and RVM are interested in appealing to the broadest possible market, they will not risk being associated with something that might disturb some fraction of the population.
Recognition of the breadth of interest and support is an important step in bringing the information to the interested — and potentially interested.
Bob Buddemeier
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Thank you for “One Life’s End”. My wife and I started our new life here at the Manor on xxxx, 2020. We will be participating in DWD when the time comes.
A million thanks for bravely writing the article about Daphne’s departure. We have been staunch supporters of Death with Dignity since we watched Xxxx use it with such ease and, yes, dignity; but we have since seen so many people shy away from any conversation about the process. Your article is a huge step forward in letting people know what really happens and how it is not something to be feared or a topic to be avoided. Again, many thanks.
Thank you for sharing such a personal, touching and oddly comforting experience.
THANK YOU for your wonderful, thoughtful Essay. I did not attach a public comment — but I wanted you to know how much I am in agreement with all your ideas/attitudes, (and have been since my 40’s). I also think it is so helpful that you bring it (possibly) to the attention of the broader RVM community. When we first moved here 11 years ago, RVM administration types would not engage in ANY discussion of such, even though it was the law of the land — happily, they are gradually coming around….
Bob and Joni, thank you for sharing Daphne’s view on life and death. I’m with you, Daphne, and you’re still with us!
I just read your article on Daphne. So nicely written. Thank you for sharing that.
Your article about Daphne in The Complement was powerful and moving. Thank you for writing it and sharing it.
What a remarkable tribute to a remarkable woman. You and your wife have given the rest of us a clear-eyed, courageous view of what we all must face. Death with dignity, indeed. Thank you,
Thanks for your well written piece on Daphne and DWD. What you wrote resonated with me. I give you and yours high marks for being better prepared with a support system than Xxxx and I were.
Xxxxx and I read the article. Very well done!! I cried the first time and I cried the second time. How incredible to be surrounded with so much love and support those final moments!! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for this reassuring and inspiring piece about Daphne and how she (and your family) handled the process/progress of death with dignity. Death seems (to me) to be something of a 4-letter word here at RVM. No one seems to want to register that it is happening except with a photo in a wall display case when it’s all over. I needed a role model for when my time comes and I don’t think I could do much better than Daphne.
I do wish to thank you for your generosity and openness to write and share. My mother lived for 15 years with advancing dementia, and I don’t believe she would have appreciated her final years. I do wish the laws would allow death with dignity not just for terminal patients but for those who do not wish to have a decline of increased dependency and loss of cognition. Your comment about how we deal with the death of our friends here is mostly upon us. However, when a precious friend here died last October, I was so gratified that YANA recognized that close friends suffer a deep sense of loss, sending a card and flowers to her friends. Daphne was special and brave. As are you.
I appreciated so much your piece in the Complement describing Daphne’s journey. In my personal experience, almost never has someone been so open about revealing such intimate details about a loved one’s death. Thank you. Daphne affected my life in special and positive ways, one of them being so open herself.
First, thank you Bob for going one step further and kindly sharing responses from RVM residents to your original brave story about Daphne’s use of DwD processes.
I have been thinking about this issue for the past several years [If I have already responded to you some time back please forgive me; my memory is failing].
I deeply believe in The broad “right to self-determination” which ought to envelop the fundament right to “self-termination”. Sadly, human civilization has yet to evolve to embrace the concept of self-termination as a fundamental human right. There should be no stigma attached to it. Why must one wait until your doctor says you have “only six months left to live”. What about the criminal waste of resources in billions of dollars in unnecessarily keeping humans alive against there own wishes when the same may be applied to more worthy uses such as children’s well-being. Why should there be societal stigma attached it to say nothing about the criminal liabilities one must confront. I am fully aware of the consequences of asserting such a “right” and also various arguments advanced against such a right. Also, I am aware of the religious grounds upon which much of the opposition rests. However, I must say we need to respect them and not importune them to change their views. They should have the right to follow their own religious teachings but also not force their views upon us and deny our fundamental right to self-termination when we determine us to be ready to vacate Planet Earth. Of course there’s much more to be said on this controversial subject but perhaps not appropriate in this space.
I know this is an old post but maybe still worth a response. Jan Rowe has given 2 or 3 presentations at RVM on medical aid in dying. When Dr. Prulhiere was here at RVM we specifically asked him if he would participate as a doctor – and he said he would not. So at least we knew. This is worth a discussion with your doctor.